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[dragonlady7]

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got back to buffalo in time for it to start snowing. accumulation around an inch out there. great. thanks. happy spring.

have horrible menstrual cramps. was woken by the pain the night before last, woke up to an ao3 comment in my inbox, and some miracle stayed my hand– i was like oh reading that would make me feel better, and then some little mental gremlin was like no don’t do it what if it’s mean, and so i did not read it and went back to sleep and thank heavens, when i finally woke enough to read it, it was an entire comment about… i’m not sure, i had assumed they were asking me to tag better, but as i puzzled through i’ve realized they just don’t like that i mentioned a canon aspect of a character and felt i should have either elided or altered that detail, which again is a canon bit of that character, so I’m left rather confused and frankly a bit cranky about that. like if y’all want me to tag for something I will, but I’m not going to not mention a thing????? or like. only mention it to these heretofore unguessable standards?????? so buckle up I may have another Canon Explainer post later– I do realize a lot of people read my shit without super knowing the canon sources and I am trying not to wind up putting out a skewed idea of what’s actually in canon vs what I’ve made up and that’s an uphill struggle and the solution is More Essays, whee.

anyway. also yes i do realize i missed another Friday update, and it’ll be Monday instead probably, except. heh.

so a couple weeks ago it was mentioned to Dude that he might be selected to go to California for a work thing, and he was like oh it won’t be me going i’m not worried, and then he failed to check his fucking work email about it and in fact is leaving at 5am Monday morning for the week, and so we had to abruptly pack up and leave the farm and then I had to scramble yesterday immediately following our six-hour drive home to do a week and a half of travel laundry so it has time to dry so he can pack today, and then I have to take him to the airport and then I’m on my own for this week. So.

anyway I’m feeling stressed and distressed and I’m in a lot of pain and am quite exhausted and I really don’t need someone arguing that their personal trauma means I should change how I tell stories. Like, I have sympathy, but also, that is not something I can either anticipate or accomodate.

Also like. most of my adult coping methods that let me fake competence in this world are built on a framework of Dude being really into habits and routines, so I will probably not sleep or eat while he is gone, and I am grimly not looking forward to that. He’s like…. you leave me alone all the time and i’m like yes, and i leave you and go to a house full of my family where they tell me what to do and regularly feed me, so. We’ll see how I do. If anyone wants to drop off a casserole so I don’t starve… ha i’ll probably compulsively save it and starve anyway. (I literally have a casserole in the freezer right now and i was just talking myself out of defrosting it.)

also i have to unpack everything from my vacation, and my supervisor is going on vacation this upcoming week too and so not only will i have all my stuff waiting for me to do but i will also have to do his, and i had no notice of that either, so i’m just really. like i’m Pre-Tired for this coming week. 😭

so anyway the monday update is like– i have a bunch of stuff written but one thing is going to need like a new work created and title and tags and summary and now i’m just in this pile of Doubt, maybe I don’t know how to tag things properly, maybe this is more complicated than i thought, and I’m so tired and I’m working very hard to be polite but I’m also so fucking tired. (Your picture was not posted)