jumpingjacktrash:sensicalabsurdities:henshengs:Tbh I think fandom generally needs to get better at..

[dragonlady7]

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jumpingjacktrash https://jumpingjacktrash.tumblr.com/post/640964249733283840:

sensicalabsurdities https://sensicalabsurdities.tumblr.com/post/640319340561956864:

henshengs https://henshengs.tumblr.com/post/639992957630595072:

Tbh I think fandom generally needs to get better at sitting with the uncomfortable fact that a story/fanwork/meme/whatever can hurt one person and help another

This is why I think “tag warning” culture is kinder and more constructive than cancel culture / “no problematic content” culture. One size does not fit all, but if we learn to be more aware of the fact that the same thing can be emotionally validating or cathartic to one person and upsetting to another, and pick up a general mindset of thinking before we post, “what might people need a heads up for in this content?”, we grow more compassionate, more thoughtful, and more understanding of the differences in people’s experiences.

this is very important.

and we also need to let go of the scrupulosity that says you must be 100% responsible for your readers’ comfort. there are several reasons to get rid of that.

1. bullies and manipulators will use it to jerk you around
2. it will either pointlessly increase your anxiety, or
3. give you a false sense of security, depending on whether you think you CAN actually tag for all triggers, and
4. you really, REALLY can’t. you can’t. it’s not possible.

i have so many obscure little triggers from school-based abuse that even i couldn’t tell you how to avoid them, and without that conversation there’s no way in hell for you to know that if you have an authority figure knock pencils or pens on the floor i’ll think i’m fine but then i’ll have nightmares the next 3 nights. i didn’t know until it happened. then the next time, it didn’t happen, but the smell of plasticine clay set me off. my medical trauma is like… i can read the most gruesome body horror, and then a throwaway line where a nurse is a little brusque will send me to frown town all day.

my mental health is not for you to protect. it’s not your job and i honestly don’t want you trying. i kinda find those “mind the warnings and take care of yourself” author’s notes condescending and rude, though i know they’re kindly meant.

just… tag for the basics. non-con. body horror. animal cruelty. if a frequent reader asks politely for you to tag a particular thing, and that thing is easy to identify and either exists or doesn’t exist in your work (say, vomiting, or death by fire), you might want to agree, but you do not have to. it is perfectly valid to say, “sorry, bro, but i really can’t keep track of extra tags, so you might not wanna keep reading.” i have cognitive disabilities, i usually can’t remember whether i’ve had lunch on any given day, i’m not going to promise you i’ll remember to tag for like… arguments in an elevator. i’m not mocking your triggers, mine are just as finicky, see above, but i just can’t do it, fam.

re OP’s point, SO MUCH YES, and also let me point out that sometimes a tag warning is helpful not because you want to avoid a thing, but because you don’t want it to be a surprise. (Your picture was not posted)

Comments

[minoanmiss]

This is an excellent discussion even if Jumpingjacktrash is one of those people who think Black women base our lives around making White women, the real victims, miserable. It's so annoying to see someone talk about a way to treat people better and to know they don't mean you (as in 'you the reader' as in me).

[dragonlady7]

oh man i don't know that person at all. good to know!!! D-8

[minoanmiss]

He likes agreeing with sensible things to make himself look good. I got into it once with one of his racist-ass friends and he decided to come save her from the Big Mean Angry Ableist Black Woman. Also he's a fulminant Christian (a lot of my Tumblr friends reblog him and every so often I get really annoyed). Anyway, forewarned is half an octopus!

[dragonlady7]

oh no! well, now i know.
yes, it does help to be forewarned!!!