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dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/2ZoUJa6
splickedylit:
beetledrink:
not to get too deep on main but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a kid/teen that their only redeeming feature was being “low maintenance” and now as an adult you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your only good quality which is just “doesn’t ask for things”
#you don’t believe you can be liked so you settle for being useful
ugh the other morning at breakfast i wanted some strawberries but they were in front of my sister and being only half-awake i literally could not summon the words to ask her if i could have some of them and so i just sat there eating my breakfast and thinking about how good the berries within arm’s reach would taste if only i could make myself just ask for them– and she would pass them! she would not mind! in fact she would be upset if she knew i wanted them and did not ask!– and it was only because she got up to go get something that I was able to reach out and take some of them and like oh my god, b, just fucking ask for things, but i could not
anyway idk if that one was low self-worth making it impossible for me to contemplate the possibility of some kind of conflict if i asked for something or if it was an executive function issue but boy howdy i spent a solid seven or eight minutes obsessing over not being able to ask for strawberries and yeah that’s actually somewhat typical of the shit i get up to.
splickedylit:
beetledrink:
not to get too deep on main but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a kid/teen that their only redeeming feature was being “low maintenance” and now as an adult you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your only good quality which is just “doesn’t ask for things”
#you don’t believe you can be liked so you settle for being useful
ugh the other morning at breakfast i wanted some strawberries but they were in front of my sister and being only half-awake i literally could not summon the words to ask her if i could have some of them and so i just sat there eating my breakfast and thinking about how good the berries within arm’s reach would taste if only i could make myself just ask for them– and she would pass them! she would not mind! in fact she would be upset if she knew i wanted them and did not ask!– and it was only because she got up to go get something that I was able to reach out and take some of them and like oh my god, b, just fucking ask for things, but i could not
anyway idk if that one was low self-worth making it impossible for me to contemplate the possibility of some kind of conflict if i asked for something or if it was an executive function issue but boy howdy i spent a solid seven or eight minutes obsessing over not being able to ask for strawberries and yeah that’s actually somewhat typical of the shit i get up to.
