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dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/3bMQEB3
dinahdarling:
geralt gets tired of having to explain where each and every scar on his body came from, so he escalates to being A Little Shit and starts telling jaskier absolute fucking lies:
“oh, that one? i got it from opening a scroll too quickly and sliced my hand open.”
“i got that one from falling off roach. and that one. and that one.”
“i helped an innkeeper give birth and the baby bit me as she entered the world.”
“i saw a really tall tree and tried to climb it, only the branch broke beneath me and i fell.”
“i hit myself with my own sword by swinging it too quickly.”
“four harpies cornered me in a church and my only option was to jump out of then window. to this day, i’m still picking glass out of my–”
and jaskier knows he’s lying, fucking knows it, and as revenge, he writes a song entitled The Witcher’s Fragile Ass. it has innkeepers placing cushions down on every seat that geralt sits on, which is nice.
it also has everybody pointing at his ass and laughing, which is not nice.
“what have we learned today?” jaskier asks geralt, hands on hips with a stern expression on his face.
“not to lie to jaskier,” geralt sighs, but in truth he hasn’t learned his lesson at all and he cannot wait to tell jaskier about how he got the scar on his stomach from wrestling a cat for a piece of fish.
dinahdarling:
geralt gets tired of having to explain where each and every scar on his body came from, so he escalates to being A Little Shit and starts telling jaskier absolute fucking lies:
“oh, that one? i got it from opening a scroll too quickly and sliced my hand open.”
“i got that one from falling off roach. and that one. and that one.”
“i helped an innkeeper give birth and the baby bit me as she entered the world.”
“i saw a really tall tree and tried to climb it, only the branch broke beneath me and i fell.”
“i hit myself with my own sword by swinging it too quickly.”
“four harpies cornered me in a church and my only option was to jump out of then window. to this day, i’m still picking glass out of my–”
and jaskier knows he’s lying, fucking knows it, and as revenge, he writes a song entitled The Witcher’s Fragile Ass. it has innkeepers placing cushions down on every seat that geralt sits on, which is nice.
it also has everybody pointing at his ass and laughing, which is not nice.
“what have we learned today?” jaskier asks geralt, hands on hips with a stern expression on his face.
“not to lie to jaskier,” geralt sighs, but in truth he hasn’t learned his lesson at all and he cannot wait to tell jaskier about how he got the scar on his stomach from wrestling a cat for a piece of fish.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 12:41 am (UTC)