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dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/32f6Hmu
missbuster:
copperbadge:
Seems to me like plenty of women in my direct line of ancestry might have chosen not to have children…and then were made to anyway.
I always was the black sheep of the family tree.
–
yes but like if you really research geneaology, like really really, like you get the whole family tree, you can see how many of the branches also end before you, and you can find solidarity in all the maiden aunts that came before, and bachelor uncles who never married. (i have one of each in the generation just previous, as well, who i love dearly, who would have made terrible parents but who were fantastic relatives as they were. i have my uncle’s toes, strange upturned weird shapes nobody else in the family got that surfaced randomly in my genes too, and maybe i have my uncle’s depression too, but he didn’t pass it on directly, and he did his best, and at his funeral a lot of people i’d never met told me how proud he’d been of me and my sisters, how much he’d bragged about his wonderful nieces.)
we’ve got a crazy hair wreath on the wall at my mom’s house that was made by one of the Victorian-era maiden aunts. it’s beautiful.
i have a fantastic crazy quilt that a long-ago maiden aunt made, dated 1888; it has among many other great things a crude embroidered portrait of a woman in a bonnet that i think must be a selfie, and a crude outline of a cat; she couldn’t draw very well, but the ribbon-embroidery flowers are startlingly realistic.
your ancestors include a lot of people who didn’t reproduce, if you widen your search a little; other expressions of those same genes that made you, other lovely ends of branches who blossomed as they were, just as you can. you don’t just have to count the direct ones among your ancestors. i figure all of them are mine.
missbuster:
copperbadge:
Seems to me like plenty of women in my direct line of ancestry might have chosen not to have children…and then were made to anyway.
I always was the black sheep of the family tree.
–
yes but like if you really research geneaology, like really really, like you get the whole family tree, you can see how many of the branches also end before you, and you can find solidarity in all the maiden aunts that came before, and bachelor uncles who never married. (i have one of each in the generation just previous, as well, who i love dearly, who would have made terrible parents but who were fantastic relatives as they were. i have my uncle’s toes, strange upturned weird shapes nobody else in the family got that surfaced randomly in my genes too, and maybe i have my uncle’s depression too, but he didn’t pass it on directly, and he did his best, and at his funeral a lot of people i’d never met told me how proud he’d been of me and my sisters, how much he’d bragged about his wonderful nieces.)
we’ve got a crazy hair wreath on the wall at my mom’s house that was made by one of the Victorian-era maiden aunts. it’s beautiful.
i have a fantastic crazy quilt that a long-ago maiden aunt made, dated 1888; it has among many other great things a crude embroidered portrait of a woman in a bonnet that i think must be a selfie, and a crude outline of a cat; she couldn’t draw very well, but the ribbon-embroidery flowers are startlingly realistic.
your ancestors include a lot of people who didn’t reproduce, if you widen your search a little; other expressions of those same genes that made you, other lovely ends of branches who blossomed as they were, just as you can. you don’t just have to count the direct ones among your ancestors. i figure all of them are mine.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-30 11:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-31 01:29 am (UTC)Embrace your right to choose: your ancestors fought for that, and sometimes they lost.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 12:13 pm (UTC)I don't think I can use that line; my bloodline is continued in some cute nieces and nephews I like rather a lot. like, i get it, but it's not. i dunno.
it's a fantastic aesthetic but it doesn't work with the rest of mine. lol so i guess i won't plagiarize you.
I outsourced my bloodline! thanks, sisters.
(And it's not that I never wanted kids, it's just such a huge hassle and honestly I'd rather not when you really get down to it, but it's not like I was fundamentally opposed. In different circumstances, y'know, maybe. But I super super super understand the Nope viewpoint, and I respect the hell out of it.)
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 12:17 pm (UTC)I love kids. My life is taking care of of other people's kids. And that started pretty early; I was babysitting at 12, worked in a puppetry camp at 14, and working with children at a women's shelter by 17. I'm also highly phobic of pregnancy and I don't like mess and noise in my own space, so I really get the best of both worlds: Hanging out with the younger generation, and then going home and closing the door.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 10:11 pm (UTC)Sometimes you can really tell that journal crossposters were developed before Tumblr; they don't seem to handle its weird comment formatting very well. :D
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 05:37 pm (UTC)So many people assume that if you don't have kids you must hate them, and it's been really odd to see people's reactions when I speak fondly of the little relatives and friends I periodically have the care of. I had one boss in particular who was so convinced I hated children because I didn't have any-- and at the time, I was not quite 30 and hadn't even particularly made up my mind! it was weird.
anyway.
solidarity.