degruntilated
May. 9th, 2019 04:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7My schedule for the summer is filling up.
I told myself I'd work it out this year so I didn't wind up driving endlessly back and forth across the state. It's hard to avoid; chicken slaughters are evenly-spaced, so I can't stay for two unless I stay three weeks in a row.
I'd told myself I could spend more time at the farm this summer because I paid my car off and so I don't need to earn as much money. But there keep being things that the dayjob needs me for, so I have to schedule myself there, and work around it.
Oh well. I'll work it out. And probably what's going to happen is that all summer long, I will have to drive back and forth every other week, and that's just how it is. And what also happens is that I wind up spending the weekends driving and the weeks working, so I never get a day off either, that isn't spent in a car. (Saturdays are work days at the farm, so the number of times I show up in time to work on Saturday, or leave after work on Saturday; well, that's just how it goes.) (Last year on more than one occasion I got up at 3 or 4 in the morning to make it to the farm in time to help with something.)
And in the midst of this, Dude is like... "We should go on vacation."
Last summer I was like "bro summers are hard for me, schedule the next vacation for winter or early spring ok" and he was like "ok" and then spring came and went. It is fucking June, basically and he's just now like, "oh hm, we gotta go somewhere" and I was like "idk a long weekend?" and he's like "no we should go on a proper vacation."
Just. Just.
Agh.
I *love* the idea of vacations, but as I am not paid when I am not at work, and in some cases I am not paid when I *am* at work, and like I'm not going to freak out or anything, but like. *deep breaths* We can get by just fine on Dude's income mostly in the summer, that's fine; I'm basically volunteering and that's what we do instead of charitable donations etc., but it is hard for me to take yet more time off and the late winter/early spring is when I am a huddled mass of depression and would really like a break, and June is really not the time for me to take off. Also I am now booked solid for every single fucking day until July, and in July I start having days I've tentatively scheduled with my BFF for various things we're planning to do, so if he wants to schedule something we're down to, like, the dregs.
And he isn't; he wants me to think of something. Where can we go that's nice and not too far and we haven't been before? BRO I DON'T KNOW. I've suggested every place I can think of already and none of them suit, so. Clearly you've got something in mind! So book it! And at this point you're gonna have to go by yourself!
I am tired and have been tired all week for no reason, and it's all a lot of brainfog and woe and aggravation. I tell you what vacation I want:
I want to go somewhere, with like, a cabin, maybe on a lake, and it's got a big porch that looks out on a nice view, and it's got fast wifi and a lovely open-plan kitchen, and we show up with a cooler full of groceries and nobody bothers us for a week and I get a shitload of writing done. Maybe take a hike or two during the day, maybe dip myself into the lake once or maybe it's too cold, i don't honestly give a fuck. Mostly, I sit on my ass and I get to write as much as I want and nobody talks to me.
But I don't know how to explain that. I sort of tried, and he was like "nah", so. I'm out of ideas.
I told myself I'd work it out this year so I didn't wind up driving endlessly back and forth across the state. It's hard to avoid; chicken slaughters are evenly-spaced, so I can't stay for two unless I stay three weeks in a row.
I'd told myself I could spend more time at the farm this summer because I paid my car off and so I don't need to earn as much money. But there keep being things that the dayjob needs me for, so I have to schedule myself there, and work around it.
Oh well. I'll work it out. And probably what's going to happen is that all summer long, I will have to drive back and forth every other week, and that's just how it is. And what also happens is that I wind up spending the weekends driving and the weeks working, so I never get a day off either, that isn't spent in a car. (Saturdays are work days at the farm, so the number of times I show up in time to work on Saturday, or leave after work on Saturday; well, that's just how it goes.) (Last year on more than one occasion I got up at 3 or 4 in the morning to make it to the farm in time to help with something.)
And in the midst of this, Dude is like... "We should go on vacation."
Last summer I was like "bro summers are hard for me, schedule the next vacation for winter or early spring ok" and he was like "ok" and then spring came and went. It is fucking June, basically and he's just now like, "oh hm, we gotta go somewhere" and I was like "idk a long weekend?" and he's like "no we should go on a proper vacation."
Just. Just.
Agh.
I *love* the idea of vacations, but as I am not paid when I am not at work, and in some cases I am not paid when I *am* at work, and like I'm not going to freak out or anything, but like. *deep breaths* We can get by just fine on Dude's income mostly in the summer, that's fine; I'm basically volunteering and that's what we do instead of charitable donations etc., but it is hard for me to take yet more time off and the late winter/early spring is when I am a huddled mass of depression and would really like a break, and June is really not the time for me to take off. Also I am now booked solid for every single fucking day until July, and in July I start having days I've tentatively scheduled with my BFF for various things we're planning to do, so if he wants to schedule something we're down to, like, the dregs.
And he isn't; he wants me to think of something. Where can we go that's nice and not too far and we haven't been before? BRO I DON'T KNOW. I've suggested every place I can think of already and none of them suit, so. Clearly you've got something in mind! So book it! And at this point you're gonna have to go by yourself!
I am tired and have been tired all week for no reason, and it's all a lot of brainfog and woe and aggravation. I tell you what vacation I want:
I want to go somewhere, with like, a cabin, maybe on a lake, and it's got a big porch that looks out on a nice view, and it's got fast wifi and a lovely open-plan kitchen, and we show up with a cooler full of groceries and nobody bothers us for a week and I get a shitload of writing done. Maybe take a hike or two during the day, maybe dip myself into the lake once or maybe it's too cold, i don't honestly give a fuck. Mostly, I sit on my ass and I get to write as much as I want and nobody talks to me.
But I don't know how to explain that. I sort of tried, and he was like "nah", so. I'm out of ideas.
