dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
[personal profile] dragonlady7
via http://ift.tt/2iW5bo1:sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post “bookish-but-corruptible replied to your post “oh, it’s years since…”

You don’t sound like a jerk. I think I get it.

Thank you! It took me forever to make what I was feeling rattle around into words anyway. I’m glad some of those words seem to have come through.

I dunno. I just dunno. 

I was mentally poking all my original fic ideas today. I mean, what would probably be a crowd-pleaser is to go back through and put endings on the abandoned works on my AO3, so maybe I should consider that. But I also want to, I dunno, make something that’s mine.

I just don’t know if I have the fortitude to do that, because it means working in isolation and not getting a lot of feedback. But it would be mine. 

I could also take a hiatus from writing but the last time I did that, I’m not kidding, I lost my fucking mind, so I’m hesitant. It feels like it would be a recharge, but I think the part of my brain that’s thinking that is straight-up deluded. I don’t have a lot of spare cope going around, you know??

I was thinking, like, you know, I should just bang out some Kindle Erotica, you know? There’s a market for that and it would be a fun experiment. But of my original fic ideas, most of the ready-to-hand ones are bizarrely unsuited. (The one where the heroine’s asexual and the hero’s too traumatized to even hold hands? the one where I recently decided it doesn’t hold up unless I make the heroine trans and it definitely has to be minimum 200k words long to cram the plot in? the one where a lounge singer gets abducted by aliens and strikes up a torrid lesbian affair with an extraterrestrial? i mean maybe that last one but what’s the market like for f/f and it’s mostly plot and very little sex too? why is all my fanfic X-rated and my original stuff too weird to fuck??)

I’m just gonna lie on the floor for a while today and feel wretched, that’s just how that’s going. Thank you for understanding.
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dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
dragonlady7

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