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bitterkarella https://www.tumblr.com/bitterkarella/708804745928802305/midnight-pals-fuckenstein :

Midnight Pals: Fuckenstein

Guillermo del Toro: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of Frankenstein del Toro: but what if Frankenstein was hot Stephen King: do you mean the doctor or the monster King: because, technically, the monster is frankenstein’s monster and del Toro: I know what I said, steve

Del Toro: in this retelling, the doctor is played by Oscar isaacs del Toro: and the monster is played by Andrew Garfield Barker: do they fuck Poe: clive Barker: no really Barker: I think in this situation Barker: this is a good question King: yeah actually he has a point

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers del Toro: I was just talking about my Frankenstein adaptation with Oscar isaacs and Andrew Garfield Shelley: do they fuck? Barker: see? That’s what I was asking!

Del Toro: “do they fuck” del Toro: what a question! del Toro: would I, Guillermo del toro, cinema’s most notorious monster fucker, make a film where monsters fuck! del Toro: it’s like none of you even saw the shape of water King: oh what happens in that? del Toro: del Toro: they fuck

King: wait do they really King: on screen? del Toro: hardcore X-rated swim bladder action

Bram Stoker: oh GREAT now you’re gonna ruin Frankenstein! Stoker: it’s bad enough that they made Dracula horny Stoker: now they’re gonna back Frankenstein horny! Stoker: so gross Stoker: bleh!

Stoker: why do you guys always have to make everything so sexual Stoker: it was better when Frankenstein was a big green thing with, like, the weird head Stoker: man, there was NO way yo could get horny looking at that Stoker: so totally good and unsexy Stoker: now that’s the way to do it Mary Shelley: shut up

Mary Shelley: so they fuck right del Toro: of course they fuck Shelley: I got a great scene for ya Guillermo Shelley: what if they fuck on the monster’s mother’s grave del Toro: del Toro: um the monster doesn’t really Shelly: [flipping switchblade] who’s writing this story, nerd? (Your picture was not posted)

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latespringearlysummer https://latespringearlysummer.tumblr.com/post/705101942940205056:

it’s 2023 and there’s still one useful app that no one has developed called “Why is there a helicopter here” that when you see a helicopter in the area tells you what they are doing up there (Your picture was not posted)