blindness, overcompensation, i have to be 15 minutes early, or i perish,
that's it, adhd
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foone
https://foone.tumblr.com/post/711234574637809664/i-see-a-lot-of-people-joking-about-the-adhd-thing
:
I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of “I have a
appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won’t do anything all day!”
But no one seems to make the connection that it’s a time blindness thing.
One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of
time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an
obvious coping mechanism for that.
Can I go to the store? It’s 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long
does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON’T
KNOW!
I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I’m aware
that I don’t know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I
may be very wrong. Too often I’ve been like “hey I can walk to the corner
store and grab a drink, that’ll take like 15 minutes!” and then an hour
later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.
Plus there’s also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus
is a two-edged sword.
Like, let’s say you decide to play a video game. You’ve got time, you can
pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of
your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused
for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when
their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it’s
2:49 and you haven’t showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes
away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you’re asking people with
the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)
And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you
so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing
or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it’s great. Your brain is
firing on all cylinders. You’ve got all the motivation you can ask for, and
you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you’re
getting stuff done you’ve been putting off for weeks or months. And then
the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.
You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time
you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you
don’t have the drive to write them down. You can’t force yourself to do it.
Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to
shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to
sleep. You’ve left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been
repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever
gets finished.
So next time you don’t even start. There’s not time. You’ve been burnt too
many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?
My point is that people seem to be going “lol I can’t do anything all day
if I have an appointment at 3pm” like this is a quirky “oh I’m so
scatterbrained!” weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of
a disabling mental illness.
(and that’s not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that
having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you’re going to avoid
them. Even when it’s things like “going to that party” or “meeting your
friends for a drink/game” or “going to a movie with that cute girl from
your math class”. Things you should enjoy. Things that’d help you be
social. Things that make you feel human.)
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