Hey B here is a Thought brought to you by my cat falling asleep with her eyes half-open: if witchers

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oh man i saved this up to answer when i had more time to be funny about it but i have to admit that the time may never come when i am more funny so i’m throwing this out as a general prompt to the masses:

write more witchers with nictating membranes

plz thx

i am enchanted by this idea and super love it. i feel like if it was gonna come up in any of my continuities it would already have done so, so i can’t shoehorn it in unless i go back and do rewrites, but

plz give me yennefer doing something with a big explosion and turning around and shrieking because geralt and the boys are all standing there in a flinch with their third eyelids closed and they look weird as hell (Your picture was not posted)

The Fanciest Bitch

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So I got a new stove yesterday.

Back up– my old stove was, listen, it had belonged to Dude’s grandma, and when she passed, they brought it over here and we hooked it up and used it for a few years and the igniters stopped working so for a solid seven or ten years I’ve been using a stick lighter every time I want to turn a burner on. And for the last couple of years, the oven won’t light reliably; takes a while for it to get around to turning on, and often in the midst of cooking if the thermostat kicked off, it just wouldn’t kick on again, and so my chicken would be sitting there in a gradually-cooling 250-degree oven instead of the 400 I had it set for.

So anyway. We’re gonna redo the kitchen, which has the original 1950 linoleum on the floor still, not in good condition, among other things. But we decided not to wait to get new appliances, and last year we got a fridge when our 1973 model started having reliability issues, and now we have a new stove.

[Word of advice to anyone seeking to redo a kitchen: even if you have Custom Kitchen Money, GET STANDARD-SIZED APPLIANCES. Do NOT build a kitchen around some incredibly fancy oven which can’t be replaced off the rack. Pick a standard size, and construct your counters around that. This advice brought to you by DF and MM, whose house’s previous owners built a lovely and extremely dated custom kitchen in the 90s with a wildly nonstandard refrigerator that matches the cabinets exactly, and cannot be replaced without tearing out all of said cabinets, because the space it fills is not remotely the size of a normal refrigerator.]

{A blessing for our modern era: May you come into Custom Kitchen Money, but retain the sense to buy standard appliances.}

<kitchens are expensiiiiive.>

Anyway this new stove has a convection setting, which is neat, and I look forward to no longer having to either bake one sheet of cookies at a time or just anticipate burning the bottoms of the lower rack if I forget to rotate them.

But it also has an air fryer setting, which I wasn’t that pumped about– the saleslady was like listen an air fryer is just a convection oven with jumped-up settings so if you have a convection oven you basically have an air fryer so it’s just dumb not to put the settings on a button for you, and it didn’t cost extra so I was like yeah hell why not– but just this moment we had a revelation.

Air-fryer latkes https://www.thekitchn.com/air-fryer-latkes-22957240.

Fuck. Fuck this is life-changing.

Uh also we gotta watch the cholesterol but like. listen. important things have to happen, here.

So far we’ve had tater tots, and have learned that the air fryer basket we got that takes up the whole oven shelf is way bigger than we actually need for any purpose, but like. Great problems to have.

[image description: the Fanciest Bitch, a stainless-steel oven with a black glass front and a fancy industrial-style cast iron grille top with a griddle sitting on it. Also visible is my gross linoleum floor I know listen we’ll get there.] (Your picture was not posted)