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My mother was emailing with my father’s siblings, and they’re not great
correspondents, but finally the sister who lives in Norway wrote back. She
is a phenomenal letter writer, when she writes them– used to send these
long long typewritten ones to her mother, which Gram would then Xerox and
send copies of to the other siblings, because they were so beautiful and
evocative. I still remember some of her descriptions of things. So Mom
forwarded us all her email in response to Mom sending her some photos of
Dad’s new gravestone.
My aunt lost her husband a decade or so ago, so she commisserated with my
mother about that horrible adjustment from wife to widow, and this
paragraph was so great I had to copy and share it here.
It’s hard, and there’s no help for it. As I have the occasion to say more
often than I like, life is clearly not for sissies. It reminds me of
something one of [Son]’s violin teachers - her name was Susanna - said, a
long time ago. She was from East Germany, although that fact is probably
not significant. Anyway, she was selected at age fourteen to be sent away
from her family to another city to study at a school for promising
musicians. She told us, matter-of-factly, “I would practice and practice,
many hours. Then I would cry a little. And then I continued practicing.”
What else can we do but continue?
(Actually, I think she told that story as a way of saying that Norwegian
children lacked self-discipline, but I’ve always felt that she said more
about herself than she intended - about holding out, holding on.)
anyway here’s a photo of my dad and this sister of his, in Bergen in 2015
for the occasion of one of her sons’ weddings.
[image: DSC_5923]
https://www.flickr.com/photos/dragonlady7/46274677482/in/album-72157703187375891/
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