May. 23rd, 2020
maybe too many adults in the house
May. 23rd, 2020 01:27 pmvia https://ift.tt/2ZwvQLm
DF just walked into the living room, frowning slightly. “Can you call my phone?” he asked his wife. I’d seen his phone, I remembered seeing it on the kitchen counter. Looked a lot like my phone, similar size, black-bordered case like mine, I’d looked at it and remembered it wasn’t my phone, at least once. (Among other things, his is an iPhone, and my case has a gold back and his is black all the way across.)
MM, who was holding her phone, complied.
I was sitting on the other couch. Suddenly, my hip began ringing loudly. “I’m sitting on it?” I said, astonished. I groped for it. it was in my pocket.
“I stole your phone,” I said, pulling out a phone in a case that looked like mine but had, on the lit-up screen, an image of MM smiling.
Clearly, I’d seen it again, and this time hadn’t engaged the critical part of my mind that earlier had been like “yes the front of the case looks like mine but the back does not and also i know my phone is in the living room”.
I have no memory of picking up his phone whatsoever. Fortunately, everyone thought this was hilarious, especially the children.
DF just walked into the living room, frowning slightly. “Can you call my phone?” he asked his wife. I’d seen his phone, I remembered seeing it on the kitchen counter. Looked a lot like my phone, similar size, black-bordered case like mine, I’d looked at it and remembered it wasn’t my phone, at least once. (Among other things, his is an iPhone, and my case has a gold back and his is black all the way across.)
MM, who was holding her phone, complied.
I was sitting on the other couch. Suddenly, my hip began ringing loudly. “I’m sitting on it?” I said, astonished. I groped for it. it was in my pocket.
“I stole your phone,” I said, pulling out a phone in a case that looked like mine but had, on the lit-up screen, an image of MM smiling.
Clearly, I’d seen it again, and this time hadn’t engaged the critical part of my mind that earlier had been like “yes the front of the case looks like mine but the back does not and also i know my phone is in the living room”.
I have no memory of picking up his phone whatsoever. Fortunately, everyone thought this was hilarious, especially the children.
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stele3 replied to your post “just a dude swimming in the canal with a bunch of swords on”
I’ve never managed to get Geralt to full Witcher-black eyes before. Some day I’ll down a bunch of potions and just go for it.
I feel like you’d die before you hit that. maybe certain potions do it faster. in this cutscene, his eyes were more or less normal, inasmuch as they ever are…
librarychick94 replied to your post “i’m not even supposed to be here today”
My experience with the Witcher is the series and your game posts. I love reading them. They are delightful and amuse me greatly. :)
I’m glad these playthrus have some kind of utility besides just being a way for me to mark basically the only thing I do in a day that’s remotely interesting. I had been wondering who ever found them worth reading, and feeling sort of guilty for how much time I spend on them, but–
I’m home this weekend, back in Buffalo visiting with my dude, and while we’ve found plenty to talk about, most of my most amusing stories are in-game Witcher stories. Which, to be fair, in my case, the game as I’m experiencing it is very much me watching this game with two of my very closest friends, and so there’s a healthy element of You Will Not Believe What DF Did, which my dude can appreciate on those merits too, but– the upshot of it is that he’s now invested in a remote-playthrough of a game he’s neither playing nor even watching, just because it’s something for us to talk about.
nogling replied to your post “i’m not even supposed to be here today”
*cackles* Suddenly I want a Clerks AU, where Geralt is Dante, Jaskier is Randal, Yen is Veronica, and Valdo Marx is Olaf and all he does is sing Berserker.
would you like to making fuck BER-SER-KER
stele3 replied to your post “just a dude swimming in the canal with a bunch of swords on”
I’ve never managed to get Geralt to full Witcher-black eyes before. Some day I’ll down a bunch of potions and just go for it.
I feel like you’d die before you hit that. maybe certain potions do it faster. in this cutscene, his eyes were more or less normal, inasmuch as they ever are…
librarychick94 replied to your post “i’m not even supposed to be here today”
My experience with the Witcher is the series and your game posts. I love reading them. They are delightful and amuse me greatly. :)
I’m glad these playthrus have some kind of utility besides just being a way for me to mark basically the only thing I do in a day that’s remotely interesting. I had been wondering who ever found them worth reading, and feeling sort of guilty for how much time I spend on them, but–
I’m home this weekend, back in Buffalo visiting with my dude, and while we’ve found plenty to talk about, most of my most amusing stories are in-game Witcher stories. Which, to be fair, in my case, the game as I’m experiencing it is very much me watching this game with two of my very closest friends, and so there’s a healthy element of You Will Not Believe What DF Did, which my dude can appreciate on those merits too, but– the upshot of it is that he’s now invested in a remote-playthrough of a game he’s neither playing nor even watching, just because it’s something for us to talk about.
nogling replied to your post “i’m not even supposed to be here today”
*cackles* Suddenly I want a Clerks AU, where Geralt is Dante, Jaskier is Randal, Yen is Veronica, and Valdo Marx is Olaf and all he does is sing Berserker.
would you like to making fuck BER-SER-KER
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ok ok i’ll write up the rest of last night’s play through now. (er. thursday night? idk.) Novigrod, Triss, the sewers, and this epic wyvern fight at the Worst Fucken Timeshare Ever.
OK. Fast travel to Novigrod. Time for some inventory management and exchanging currency in Hierarch Square.![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
akilah12902 had cautioned us that if you do certain quests out of order, you get locked out of some others, so– ok, we can meet Triss, help her with a thing, stick around through ‘the rats thing’, and then leave off and do other stuff before you get trapped into Plot that precludes several juicy sidequests. None of this meant anything to us but like, sure! It’s such a complicated game, it’s probably for the best to just take a hint now and then to avoid disorganization.
Yadda yadda plot cutscene with some ruffians looting Triss’s former house/shop, blah blah no mages allowed in Novigrad, the religious fanatics are burning them, I’m still a little confused about how Radovid (of Redania, isn’t he??) is in charge in the “Free” City of Novigrod (which, according to my understanding, was fought over by Redania and Temeria until it got sick of it and hung out its own shingle right??) but like, who fuckin’ cares, we will find out what we need to within the course of the game, or we will not, and that’s how it is.
So the Bad Scary Religious Soldiers show up and are like hurr we will burn the witcher if we get a chance and Geralt’s like… ok cool I’ll be over here with my two swords and inhuman stamina, we can make this a playdate.
Chased some pickpockets and beggars around to try to find out where to look for Triss, and then found her along with one of the Underworld Crime Bosses Who Really Rule This City. (There are apparently four.)
She’s. Ginger, and has her tits mostly out for no reason (including with a cloak failing to cover them very strategically– interesting choice), and has a Gratuitously Sultry American accent that somehow manages to sound unconvincing. IDK about the voice actress but there was something weirdly like… that’s not her accent… about it. DF had Geralt be… friendly, but not like, eager.
We had to help Triss recover something that a merchant had, in a panic, thrown into a canal near a sewage outlet. Triss was like “won’t you get it for me Geralt” and Geralt looked at the sewer outlet and said (I am not making this up) “The oils will do wonders for my complexion” and because every version of Geralt is super whipped, just dove right in, swords and all.
We found some decent-ish loot, and nobody was alarmed by a large armored man coated in swords swimming around in their canal. “I’m just a duuuude,” DF sang, navigating. “Swimmin’ in the canaaaalll, wearin’ a bunch a swords, swimmin’ in the canaaaaaall… nothin’ to worry abouuuuut…” We also found Triss’s bag. Geralt mildly teased her before giving it back for her, but then happily tagged along wherever she was going.
Again, it wasn’t like he was like, ah if i’m nice to this lady we can bang– and Triss actually said, Geralt, people take advantage of you when you’re nice, and he was like I know, and she was like I take advantage of you, and he was like is that what you call it, and she was like Time to change the subject. But it really seemed like– Geralt’s just so goddamned fucking lonely, he’s glad to have someone to talk to whether he wants to fuck her or not. She’s just, a person, who knows him, who isn’t afraid of him, who’ll chat with him and be nice to him, and if he can endanger his own life to help her out, he’s delighted to do so.
So they go to help, ah, the rats thing– Triss has a contract to help a merchant get the rats out of his warehouse. I blurted “GET PAID UP FRONT” due to an otherwise context-free hint, and sure enough that was a dialogue option and the guy was like “okay!” and handed over the money, and Geralt was like “ok that was weird, they always quibble about that” and Triss was like “can’t afford to be picky” and Geralt was like “this does not seem like it’s going to go smoothly.” But whatever. He was just so happy to talk to a friend; in-game, he hasn’t had a conversation that wasn’t about an ongoing monster attack or the Baron drunkenly sobbing about having beaten his own family mostly to death or bandits demanding to know how many dicks he has. So Triss being nosily like “so are you fucking Yen again?” [and him missing, possibly on purpose, that that’s what she was asking] was clearly such a blessed relief. He just sat there, knowing it was a trap, and leaned on a wall with his arms crossed and shot the shit and had a lovely time.
(”One time to show off my Witcher senses I threw a fork to spear a rat,” he says. “It didn’t work, though.” “Why, did you miss?” Triss asks. “No, of course not,” he says, “it was a champion throw, but– it was dark, no one could see what I’d done.” You fucking dork.)
So of course the merchant has narked to the Bad Witch Burning Soldier Guys that Triss is here, so they come to take her away to burn her, so Geralt is like “Well, you were looking for trouble earlier, so here I am to make some trouble.”
DF apparently expected this fight to be difficult, so he juiced Geralt up on some insane decoction. As a result, he tore right through the witch-hunters and then was left there sort of awkwardly hopped-up and slightly cockblocked. (Or… not cockblocked, exactly, but whatever it is when you were ready to do some serious killing and there’s nobody to kill.) So he went out and menaced the merchant, and then took a remarkably composed leave of Triss as they parted ways.
“But don’t do the next quest,” DF said. “Okay, the next one is the one about dreaming, we’ll hold off. Hmmm– oh. I’m still missing a little bit of Griffin armor, so let’s do that.”
Off we went, fast-traveling back to Velen. We went to a random harpy-infested castle we’d found before, killed the lvl 11 endrega warrior at the fast-travel point (again, Geralt was still so amped-up that we just– fuckin– shredded the fuckin thing) and found that in the absence of a harpy, a “Student” had moved in and was wandering moodily around the place, seemingly unbothered both by the endrega and by a visibly hopped-up Witcher with a silver sword dripping ichor. “Don’t bother me,” he snapped, as we ran past, sword drawn, looking to see if the harpies had respawned.
We realized that we’d looted the whole castle but missed the crucial bit. A skeleton, a chest, the important things we actually needed. The “student” showed up and wandered around the room we were in while we read the letter. Ah, a guy watched the witcher die, collected his stuff, and then was like “hey what’s in these lil bottles looks tasty” and drank one and pretty straight-off, died. Grim backstory, bruh. But also, who writes down “I am about to try to do a thing, wish me luck, bet I’ll send this letter in a minute!” except for literally everyone in this game. Anyway… More griffin bits acquired.
Then we went to a place called Harpy Feeding Grounds (that’s literally what the fast-travel signpost says), and it immediately proved to actually be the truth. Roach bucked Geralt off, and then got in the fuckin way for the rest of the fight. Harpies are easy enough to fight– they kind of swarm you, but if you Aard one down then you can oneshot-kill them. Unless, of course, Roach walks between you and your target, and scoops herself under you, so that as you try to jump on the harpy, instead you mount the horse and she carries you off somewhere.
Which was annoying, but Geralt managed to get back off the fucking horse and finish off the rest of the apparent harpies. From there we wandered down toward the shore– there was a lighthouse we were meant to make for, but a little ramble first, what’s the harm? oop that’s, well that’s pretty steep– yikes– well, this is a less-leisurely ramble, but – A new marker pops up– Guarded Treasure– oh good, who’s guarding it?
Well, a level 14 basilisk. Hm, Geralt’s pretty hopped-up, how bad could it–
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Awkwardly, the not-so-leisurely ramble means we’re trying to scramble back up a semi-sheer rockface to escape this fucking basilisk that is just Too Spicy for Wee Precious Geralt at level 11, so it was not easy, but we made it.
A bit of scrambling later, the harpies were back but Geralt could handle those. (Shittiest vacation destination ever.) We made our way down to the drawbridge, which was raised, to get out to the lighthouse. I’d looked at the quest online and it said you had to climb down the rocks to the shore and swim in through an underwater cave, so I mentioned that. “Hm,” DF said, and jumped off the bridge. “No!” I said, “won’t that kill you?” “It’s water,” he said. “Water’s hard!” I said. He hit the water, lost a tiny bit of health, and then was fine.
“I kind of don’t like having to look stuff up,” he said, making Geralt swim around.
“I get that,” I said, “but you probably would have figured this bit out. And the earlier bits, you probably could have figured out.”
“I don’t think I’d’ve figured out the B dodge,” he said. “Some games manage to make the tutorials more comprehensive, or– well, like the first quests, kind of organically introduce all the new things that you need to know, as part of what you’re doing.”“It’s a really complicated game, though,” I said. (Throughout all of this, Geralt is swimming around and crossbowing Drowners.) “I just don’t think it’d be possible to introduce everything without having a really mind-numbing tutorial.”
“Fair,” he said, and surfaced into a cave. Most of the loot in the abandoned lighthouse was water. Which is hilarious.
“Well, like, bottled water,” DF said. “That’s better, everyone knows that.”
“It’s like Fiji or some shit,” I said.
We worked up through the abandoned lighthouse, finding random bits and bobs. Finally we got to the top. “There’s supposed to be a level 14 wyvern,” DF says, proving that he Googles things too.
“There it is,” I said.
“I don’t know if I can fight it from up here,” DF says. The top of the tower is about the size of an Yrden circle, which he has an extremely difficult time staying inside of while fighting. He gets the crossbow out, and knocks the thing down a couple of times, gets it good and mad.
And then proceeds to fight it from the roof of the tower, somehow without ever *quite* falling off. It’s a near thing a couple of times, and the thing flies away and then comes back and flies away and then comes back. Fortunately apparently wyverns don’t breathe fire.
All of a sudden, the thing falls, and the loot it leaves behind on dying appears on the roof.
“I can’t believe that worked,” DF said. “Oh my God,” I said. “I can’t believe that actually– that worked!” he said, and picked up the loot, and picked up the loot from the dead body that had been lying on top of the tower that hadn’t been lootable before. “Oh my god,” I said, “how the heck– that was amazing!” “I can’t believe it worked,” DF said, and turned
and fell off the tower
to his death
(The worst thing about falling deaths for Geralt is when he’s hopped up and can take a lot of damage, because he dies in stages on the way down as he hits various objects and takes damage, and there’s always this little oh my gosh will he make it? frisson, and then BOOM 💀 You Are Dead)
“Fuck,” we both said, staring at the reload screen.
“Am I gonna have to do that fight again,” he said.
“I– I can’t believe that just happened,” I said. … “Though, that is possibly the most you thing ever, to win that amazing fight and then immediately trip down the fucking stairs.”
“Story of my life,” says DF, a man who once, in undergrad, from across a room, tripped me, actually up a flight of stairs, spraining my ankle, did I mention from across a room, so like. I’m not just saying this, the man’s spectacularly clumsy sometimes.
Blessedly, upon reload, the wyvern was still dead. Huzzah, thank fuck.
We climbed carefully down the lighthouse tower and finally managed to find the relevant chest full of Important Shit (Griffin Silver Sword), and lowered the drawbridge so we could cross back to the mainland to pick up the fast travel marker at Harpy Feeding Grounds.
Thence, returned to Novigrod, tried to find a blacksmith and accidentally entered into a whole quest about a blacksmith turned dumpling-maker and realized that’s uhh level 24 so that’s getting backburnered for now. (I finally googled Witcher 3 blacksmith novigrod where and discovered there was one literally next to Hierarch Square that we could just… go to.)
At the blacksmith, we finally were able to get everything we needed to get the full set of Griffin Witcher Gear, and now Geralt looks moderately professional and a little less like a demented ragpicker.
Psst get him a decent haircut, I said, and DF laughed at me.
Suitably attired, we signed off for the night.
ok ok i’ll write up the rest of last night’s play through now. (er. thursday night? idk.) Novigrod, Triss, the sewers, and this epic wyvern fight at the Worst Fucken Timeshare Ever.
OK. Fast travel to Novigrod. Time for some inventory management and exchanging currency in Hierarch Square.
akilah12902 had cautioned us that if you do certain quests out of order, you get locked out of some others, so– ok, we can meet Triss, help her with a thing, stick around through ‘the rats thing’, and then leave off and do other stuff before you get trapped into Plot that precludes several juicy sidequests. None of this meant anything to us but like, sure! It’s such a complicated game, it’s probably for the best to just take a hint now and then to avoid disorganization.Yadda yadda plot cutscene with some ruffians looting Triss’s former house/shop, blah blah no mages allowed in Novigrad, the religious fanatics are burning them, I’m still a little confused about how Radovid (of Redania, isn’t he??) is in charge in the “Free” City of Novigrod (which, according to my understanding, was fought over by Redania and Temeria until it got sick of it and hung out its own shingle right??) but like, who fuckin’ cares, we will find out what we need to within the course of the game, or we will not, and that’s how it is.
So the Bad Scary Religious Soldiers show up and are like hurr we will burn the witcher if we get a chance and Geralt’s like… ok cool I’ll be over here with my two swords and inhuman stamina, we can make this a playdate.
Chased some pickpockets and beggars around to try to find out where to look for Triss, and then found her along with one of the Underworld Crime Bosses Who Really Rule This City. (There are apparently four.)
She’s. Ginger, and has her tits mostly out for no reason (including with a cloak failing to cover them very strategically– interesting choice), and has a Gratuitously Sultry American accent that somehow manages to sound unconvincing. IDK about the voice actress but there was something weirdly like… that’s not her accent… about it. DF had Geralt be… friendly, but not like, eager.
We had to help Triss recover something that a merchant had, in a panic, thrown into a canal near a sewage outlet. Triss was like “won’t you get it for me Geralt” and Geralt looked at the sewer outlet and said (I am not making this up) “The oils will do wonders for my complexion” and because every version of Geralt is super whipped, just dove right in, swords and all.
We found some decent-ish loot, and nobody was alarmed by a large armored man coated in swords swimming around in their canal. “I’m just a duuuude,” DF sang, navigating. “Swimmin’ in the canaaaalll, wearin’ a bunch a swords, swimmin’ in the canaaaaaall… nothin’ to worry abouuuuut…” We also found Triss’s bag. Geralt mildly teased her before giving it back for her, but then happily tagged along wherever she was going.
Again, it wasn’t like he was like, ah if i’m nice to this lady we can bang– and Triss actually said, Geralt, people take advantage of you when you’re nice, and he was like I know, and she was like I take advantage of you, and he was like is that what you call it, and she was like Time to change the subject. But it really seemed like– Geralt’s just so goddamned fucking lonely, he’s glad to have someone to talk to whether he wants to fuck her or not. She’s just, a person, who knows him, who isn’t afraid of him, who’ll chat with him and be nice to him, and if he can endanger his own life to help her out, he’s delighted to do so.
So they go to help, ah, the rats thing– Triss has a contract to help a merchant get the rats out of his warehouse. I blurted “GET PAID UP FRONT” due to an otherwise context-free hint, and sure enough that was a dialogue option and the guy was like “okay!” and handed over the money, and Geralt was like “ok that was weird, they always quibble about that” and Triss was like “can’t afford to be picky” and Geralt was like “this does not seem like it’s going to go smoothly.” But whatever. He was just so happy to talk to a friend; in-game, he hasn’t had a conversation that wasn’t about an ongoing monster attack or the Baron drunkenly sobbing about having beaten his own family mostly to death or bandits demanding to know how many dicks he has. So Triss being nosily like “so are you fucking Yen again?” [and him missing, possibly on purpose, that that’s what she was asking] was clearly such a blessed relief. He just sat there, knowing it was a trap, and leaned on a wall with his arms crossed and shot the shit and had a lovely time.
(”One time to show off my Witcher senses I threw a fork to spear a rat,” he says. “It didn’t work, though.” “Why, did you miss?” Triss asks. “No, of course not,” he says, “it was a champion throw, but– it was dark, no one could see what I’d done.” You fucking dork.)
So of course the merchant has narked to the Bad Witch Burning Soldier Guys that Triss is here, so they come to take her away to burn her, so Geralt is like “Well, you were looking for trouble earlier, so here I am to make some trouble.”
DF apparently expected this fight to be difficult, so he juiced Geralt up on some insane decoction. As a result, he tore right through the witch-hunters and then was left there sort of awkwardly hopped-up and slightly cockblocked. (Or… not cockblocked, exactly, but whatever it is when you were ready to do some serious killing and there’s nobody to kill.) So he went out and menaced the merchant, and then took a remarkably composed leave of Triss as they parted ways.
“But don’t do the next quest,” DF said. “Okay, the next one is the one about dreaming, we’ll hold off. Hmmm– oh. I’m still missing a little bit of Griffin armor, so let’s do that.”
Off we went, fast-traveling back to Velen. We went to a random harpy-infested castle we’d found before, killed the lvl 11 endrega warrior at the fast-travel point (again, Geralt was still so amped-up that we just– fuckin– shredded the fuckin thing) and found that in the absence of a harpy, a “Student” had moved in and was wandering moodily around the place, seemingly unbothered both by the endrega and by a visibly hopped-up Witcher with a silver sword dripping ichor. “Don’t bother me,” he snapped, as we ran past, sword drawn, looking to see if the harpies had respawned.
We realized that we’d looted the whole castle but missed the crucial bit. A skeleton, a chest, the important things we actually needed. The “student” showed up and wandered around the room we were in while we read the letter. Ah, a guy watched the witcher die, collected his stuff, and then was like “hey what’s in these lil bottles looks tasty” and drank one and pretty straight-off, died. Grim backstory, bruh. But also, who writes down “I am about to try to do a thing, wish me luck, bet I’ll send this letter in a minute!” except for literally everyone in this game. Anyway… More griffin bits acquired.
Then we went to a place called Harpy Feeding Grounds (that’s literally what the fast-travel signpost says), and it immediately proved to actually be the truth. Roach bucked Geralt off, and then got in the fuckin way for the rest of the fight. Harpies are easy enough to fight– they kind of swarm you, but if you Aard one down then you can oneshot-kill them. Unless, of course, Roach walks between you and your target, and scoops herself under you, so that as you try to jump on the harpy, instead you mount the horse and she carries you off somewhere.
Which was annoying, but Geralt managed to get back off the fucking horse and finish off the rest of the apparent harpies. From there we wandered down toward the shore– there was a lighthouse we were meant to make for, but a little ramble first, what’s the harm? oop that’s, well that’s pretty steep– yikes– well, this is a less-leisurely ramble, but – A new marker pops up– Guarded Treasure– oh good, who’s guarding it?
Well, a level 14 basilisk. Hm, Geralt’s pretty hopped-up, how bad could it–
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Awkwardly, the not-so-leisurely ramble means we’re trying to scramble back up a semi-sheer rockface to escape this fucking basilisk that is just Too Spicy for Wee Precious Geralt at level 11, so it was not easy, but we made it.
A bit of scrambling later, the harpies were back but Geralt could handle those. (Shittiest vacation destination ever.) We made our way down to the drawbridge, which was raised, to get out to the lighthouse. I’d looked at the quest online and it said you had to climb down the rocks to the shore and swim in through an underwater cave, so I mentioned that. “Hm,” DF said, and jumped off the bridge. “No!” I said, “won’t that kill you?” “It’s water,” he said. “Water’s hard!” I said. He hit the water, lost a tiny bit of health, and then was fine.
“I kind of don’t like having to look stuff up,” he said, making Geralt swim around.
“I get that,” I said, “but you probably would have figured this bit out. And the earlier bits, you probably could have figured out.”
“I don’t think I’d’ve figured out the B dodge,” he said. “Some games manage to make the tutorials more comprehensive, or– well, like the first quests, kind of organically introduce all the new things that you need to know, as part of what you’re doing.”“It’s a really complicated game, though,” I said. (Throughout all of this, Geralt is swimming around and crossbowing Drowners.) “I just don’t think it’d be possible to introduce everything without having a really mind-numbing tutorial.”
“Fair,” he said, and surfaced into a cave. Most of the loot in the abandoned lighthouse was water. Which is hilarious.
“Well, like, bottled water,” DF said. “That’s better, everyone knows that.”
“It’s like Fiji or some shit,” I said.
We worked up through the abandoned lighthouse, finding random bits and bobs. Finally we got to the top. “There’s supposed to be a level 14 wyvern,” DF says, proving that he Googles things too.
“There it is,” I said.
“I don’t know if I can fight it from up here,” DF says. The top of the tower is about the size of an Yrden circle, which he has an extremely difficult time staying inside of while fighting. He gets the crossbow out, and knocks the thing down a couple of times, gets it good and mad.
And then proceeds to fight it from the roof of the tower, somehow without ever *quite* falling off. It’s a near thing a couple of times, and the thing flies away and then comes back and flies away and then comes back. Fortunately apparently wyverns don’t breathe fire.
All of a sudden, the thing falls, and the loot it leaves behind on dying appears on the roof.
“I can’t believe that worked,” DF said. “Oh my God,” I said. “I can’t believe that actually– that worked!” he said, and picked up the loot, and picked up the loot from the dead body that had been lying on top of the tower that hadn’t been lootable before. “Oh my god,” I said, “how the heck– that was amazing!” “I can’t believe it worked,” DF said, and turned
and fell off the tower
to his death
(The worst thing about falling deaths for Geralt is when he’s hopped up and can take a lot of damage, because he dies in stages on the way down as he hits various objects and takes damage, and there’s always this little oh my gosh will he make it? frisson, and then BOOM 💀 You Are Dead)
“Fuck,” we both said, staring at the reload screen.
“Am I gonna have to do that fight again,” he said.
“I– I can’t believe that just happened,” I said. … “Though, that is possibly the most you thing ever, to win that amazing fight and then immediately trip down the fucking stairs.”
“Story of my life,” says DF, a man who once, in undergrad, from across a room, tripped me, actually up a flight of stairs, spraining my ankle, did I mention from across a room, so like. I’m not just saying this, the man’s spectacularly clumsy sometimes.
Blessedly, upon reload, the wyvern was still dead. Huzzah, thank fuck.
We climbed carefully down the lighthouse tower and finally managed to find the relevant chest full of Important Shit (Griffin Silver Sword), and lowered the drawbridge so we could cross back to the mainland to pick up the fast travel marker at Harpy Feeding Grounds.
Thence, returned to Novigrod, tried to find a blacksmith and accidentally entered into a whole quest about a blacksmith turned dumpling-maker and realized that’s uhh level 24 so that’s getting backburnered for now. (I finally googled Witcher 3 blacksmith novigrod where and discovered there was one literally next to Hierarch Square that we could just… go to.)
At the blacksmith, we finally were able to get everything we needed to get the full set of Griffin Witcher Gear, and now Geralt looks moderately professional and a little less like a demented ragpicker.
Psst get him a decent haircut, I said, and DF laughed at me.
Suitably attired, we signed off for the night.