ha

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somehow i found some time to write today and did get some progress on the Fantasy!Skype Threesome. [yeahhh… i am all about being Accidentally Topical.] It’s a little jarring to be sitting at a dining room table overhearing a kindergarten math lesson while writing unabashed smut, but I managed, so I guess I can add that to my Life Experiences Merit Badge Sash.

I want to update Little Fishie instead but I need like. Probably another paragraph for it to be done, and it won’t work, so that needs some attention.

I admit, from the moment I had the idea to have Yennefer cloak herself in an illusion of being Geralt in Innermost Depths, I was thinking about how fucking entertaining it was going to be to have her do that in front of Geralt, who in basically every canon has this ridiculous streak of self-loathing. 

(nsfw text snippet!)

“Why don’t you show him, pet?” Yennefer said. “Show him what you’d do to him, if you were there.”

Jaskier made a fantastic, eager little noise and slid out of Yennefer’s lap, landing on his knees on the floor in front of her. Yennefer, meanwhile, flickered out of being herself and became Geralt, a mirror of how Geralt looked at the moment, though again it was an imperfect copy– Yennefer clearly thought of Geralt as both taller and broader than he really was, his jaw squarer and his expression angrier. 

“Fuck,” Geralt said, as Jaskier delightedly grabbed ahold of Yennefer’s– er, Illusion-Geralt’s– dick, wriggling in between his spread knees to approach it. It was– it was hot, but it was also off-putting to watch not-quite-himself put one enormous hand alongside Jaskier’s jaw and give him a predatory, sneering look. “I– I can’t look at– that’s not– I don’t look like that.”

Illusion-Geralt looked at him, raising an eyebrow in a very Yennefer expression. “Oh?”

“I don’t look like that,” Geralt repeated. 

Jaskier looked up at Illusion-Geralt, looked down at Illusion-Geralt’s very clearly substantial, not-illusory, cock that he had in his hand, and then looked over at Geralt. “I can see how this would work better for me than for you,” he said, then looked back up at Illusion-Geralt. “Love, maybe you’d better get your tits back out.”

suzukiblu:I wonder if the fall of Rome was this excruciatingly boring too.

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suzukiblu:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this excruciatingly boring too.

i don’t really get it

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For some reason people are reblogging the anecdotal story I told about my personal friend doing his doctoring in this pandemic like it’s a, I dunno, chain email forward or something, I considered tagging it “don’t reblog” because I had a feeling, but then I was like, well, whatever, it’s just a story– but it’s weird and I’m kind of weirded out that it’s now overwhelmed my mentions. It is… a personal story, and it’s not like… insider information. It’s weird! 

Anyway here’s another story of him, he went in for another transplant yesterday but got called off because, disappointingly, after they had started preparing, they got the biopsy results back from the donor liver and discovered that it was not healthy enough, so they had to send the recipient home. 

So my friend came home and said, well, since this is a work day for me, I’m going to study for the certification exam I have coming up in June. He had a shiny textbook on something, titled, like “A practical guide to [four syllable word] for [six syllable word]” and I was like, I can tell these are English terms but I don’t know what any of them mean. 

He explained it, pretty competently– you can shove a little camera down someone’s esophagus with a tiny ultrasound machine on it instead of the camera part, and take ultrasounds of their heart with it, and it’s a newish technique and something he’s pursuing certification in. Fine, fine, interesting.

Later he was lying on the couch reading, and he said “Ohhhhh, that makes perfect sense” to himself, got out his hi-liter, and made a note. 

(His daughter then attempted to steal the hi-liter, and there was a break while he went and found the last one she’d stolen and ruined so that she could use that one again.)

He resumed reading, and turned the page, and after a long silence (the children were now on their way to bed, in his wife’s care, so we were sitting around quietly) he said, to himself, “Well now that’s just witchcraft,” and got the hi-liter back out.

“it’s sort of nice,” he said, “to have time to catch up on studying,” because of the schedule disruptions from the coronavirus– if it weren’t for that, he’d’ve been doing half a dozen little procedures today– and I said “How long do you think things will remain quiet?” and he made a long face and didn’t answer in any words.

They are transferring patients out of NYC in an attempt to keep up– some have come up to Albany. Our asshole governor persists in using the word “upstate” to refer to “Western” NY– the state is divided into four regions and everyone who lives here who doesn’t live in NYC, which is one of the four, knows that there are four regions, but Andy lives in NYC so he doesn’t acknowledge a full half of the state as existing. ANYHOO. So far they’re only shipping people as far as Albany, and only in a specific scenario. The Navy hospital ship is also meant to ease the strain a bit. We’re not at capacity down there yet. Up here, we’re probably two weeks behind NYC in terms of the curve. The problem is that the acute patients with this disease typically need 2-3 weeks of intensive hospital care to recover, so if we take acute NYC patients it’s not like they’ll be clear of our inadequate hospital capacity for our population before it hits us. 

But. Anyway. Little Mister Lost A Tooth was given $3 by the tooth fairy, but keeps explaining that it’s One Dollar because he lost One Tooth, because he hasn’t mastered the concepts of money yet and so he’s holding three one dollar bills and reading the “one” off them and saying “it’s one dollar!” … It’s very cute. 

Today I’m getting folded more into the homeschooling schedule and doing workbook work. It’ll be good for me to review word problems.

After I’d finished a self-isolation round at

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After I’d finished a self-isolation round at home I’ve now relocated to co-isolate with Liesl & the cubs, and we’re settling in to some homeschooling and assorted related shenanigans. I got put in charge of the gold star stickers 🌟 and have also been doing duty as a swing set counterweight. Whoops I forgot the picture of that, oh well.
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dinahdarling:geralt gets tired of having to explain where each and every scar on his body came from,

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dinahdarling:

geralt gets tired of having to explain where each and every scar on his body came from, so he escalates to being A Little Shit and starts telling jaskier absolute fucking lies:

“oh, that one? i got it from opening a scroll too quickly and sliced my hand open.”

“i got that one from falling off roach. and that one. and that one.”

“i helped an innkeeper give birth and the baby bit me as she entered the world.”

“i saw a really tall tree and tried to climb it, only the branch broke beneath me and i fell.”

“i hit myself with my own sword by swinging it too quickly.”

“four harpies cornered me in a church and my only option was to jump out of then window. to this day, i’m still picking glass out of my–”

and jaskier knows he’s lying, fucking knows it, and as revenge, he writes a song entitled The Witcher’s Fragile Ass. it has innkeepers placing cushions down on every seat that geralt sits on, which is nice.

it also has everybody pointing at his ass and laughing, which is not nice.

“what have we learned today?” jaskier asks geralt, hands on hips with a stern expression on his face.

“not to lie to jaskier,” geralt sighs, but in truth he hasn’t learned his lesson at all and he cannot wait to tell jaskier about how he got the scar on his stomach from wrestling a cat for a piece of fish.