mosylu replied to your post “dork”

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mosylu replied to your post “dork”

You’re not a dork, you’re just self-fiving and tbh we should all do it more

self-fiving! Yes, that’s true. We should all do it more.

librarychick94 replied to your post “reading as autobiography”

Sorry you were in such a bad place when you wrote them. But I really enjoyed them and have recced them many times. So thanks for writing them. ♥️

Aw. Thanks! 
FWIW I actually felt sort of reassured by my realization of their… I won’t say flaws, but a realistic view of what those stories really were– the writing is perfectly engaging and I don’t particularly regret anything about it, it’s just that I’ve been sort of down on myself that I can find it in myself to write all this fanfic and yet never finish an original work, and it’s kind of reassuring to look back and be like, no, those works were very much, specifically, fanfic and that was in this case structurally a very different thing, and obviously it wasn’t a waste of my time and I was able to make something that I liked and that other people liked, but it wasn’t the same thing as writing original stuff. 

It was, in fact, an extremely constructive thing to do with my poor mental health and sense of social isolation and whatnot, and laid a lot of important groundwork I’ve since built on for many other different things, and nothing about it was wasted and it’s very clearly that I was doing the best I could do, and I can feel good about it and also realistically assess what it was that I did, kind of, from this sense of distance. 

sunday

I went into work today. The office job.
Some of it is just that I was so lazy last week and couldn't in good conscience leave all that work sitting there. Some of it is greed for hours; of course I'm going to clock in, and now I can get paid for the work I ought to have been doing when I was fucking around on the clock on Thursday and Friday, and if I take off a little early this coming Friday I won't miss out on pay. (I did not come in at all last pay period, so when I went to pick up my check, it wasn't there, which ought not to have been a surprise but somehow was. Listen, I'm not broke, but I was halfway expecting some money and was sad not to get any. I don't deserve any, but still.)
Some of it is worry; we're taking the cat to the vet Monday morning, and I wouldn't have chosen that; Monday mornings it's important to get shipping data uploaded to Amazon's server, or they take it as an excuse not to pay us. (That's really every other Monday; they hold all money for two weeks and then deposit it all at one go, and it only includes stuff you've shipped, so we race like mad to get everything sent out on Crunch Monday, as we call it. I honestly don't know if it's actually a crunch this week, but I am worried I'll be behind tomorrow morning.) But if Dude's willing to make appointments, I know I never actually would do it, so I will do whatever he says to do, if it means I don't have to make the appointments.

I'm still at work right now, waiting for my phone to finish charging and waiting to download one more time to see what orders we really have. I shipped everything going out of here, anyway, so that's done. Caught up on the few things I ought to have done Friday and couldn't.

The main thing, though, is that when my supervisor's out of town, he wants me to check the work email on the weekends, and I refuse, I refuse, to work off the clock from home. If I can't work remotely, I can't work remotely, and if you want me to do that, fine, but you've got to pay me to come in and do it.
Now that I live close, I don't mind. I'm just never around.
But I knew, he's in NYC this weekend, he wasn't going to check the email, and if there was anything from Amazon, it would go late.
(As a seller you have 24 hours to respond to a message without penalty; beyond that, it counts against you, regardless of whether it's a weekend or a holiday or there's a power outage or your place of business is closed by a blizzard or some other act of God. There's no appeal, and while it's only a percentage point here and there, beyond a certain percentage they don't give you the coveted Buy Box anymore, so it does count.)
(My supervisor is salaried, so arguably, it's not unpaid work if he sits on his couch on a Sunday morning and looks at the emails a bit. But I'm hourly, so fuck no.)

I also took advantage of the weather being beautiful to walk to work, figuring if it was a mistake and hurt my foot or my hip I'd be less sorry than if I did that during an 8-hour workday during which Dude could not come retrieve me. I chose footwear poorly, but-- we were cleaning out closets, and I've been trying on the shoes we found, and these sneakers were in a set that looked possibly not worn-out, and so far of the three one turned out fine, one turned out unwearable, and this pair, well-- they look fine but they are also unwearable. But now I have to walk home in them. Bummer. I may be rather sore tomorrow... Oh well.