Feb. 13th, 2018

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harpergetsfannish:

songs-of-the-east:

Scenes from the 2016 World Nomad Games hosted in Cholpon-Ata, Kyrgyzstan. The World Nomad Games brings athletes from various countries, primarily from the Central Asian region and Russia, to participate in sports native to the Eurasian Steppe. The Eurasian Steppe was home to various nomadic peoples particularly the Iranic-speaking Scythians and Sarmatians, who were a source of fear for the ancient Greeks due to their warriorlike nature and great horse-riding skills; including their mastery of horseback archery. Both groups are believed to have originated in the Eurasian Steppes, but their settlements ranged from China to Poland, and because of this they greatly impacted the genetic pool and cultures of a number of different groups in Eastern Europe and Central Asia such as the people of the Caucasus, Slavs, Turkic people, and other modern Iranic people. The Sarmatians in particular were famed by Greek historians for their female warriors and rulers that inspired the stories of the Amazons. 

@glumshoe, this is @bomberqueen17.

@bomberqueen17, glumshoe expressed interest in attending these games. I know you’re going. Any advice?

I haven’t finished making my plans yet! So far I know a couple of things, though:

1) flights to kyrgyzstan are really expensive. And you can either lay over in Istanbul or Moscow. I’m told Istanbul is infinitely preferable, mostly because of the way Turkish Air structures their layovers being much better than how Aeroflot does. I’m also told Istanbul is super cool and we’ll want to hang out there but I don’t know yet how we’re structuring that.

2) Kyrgyzstan is stunningly beautiful and there are many tour companies that would be delighted to coordinate everything for you. But none of them offer a package that includes all of the Games, and we want to see some of the events that aren’t at the hippodrome, so we’ve got to figure out our own way. Getting there is $$$ but once you’re there, it’s pretty cheap to eat and get around and such.

3) You don’t have to learn Kyrgyz, and you don’t really have to learn Russian either, but being able to read Cyrillic seems like a really good idea. So I’m working on that. It’s not rocket science but, это запутывает. I’m trying to pick up a smattering of Russian since that’s what most foreigners speak there. The Games are staffed by a lot of multilingual people, with a focus on English-speakers, so if that’s your destination you should be fine!

4) The games are only every other year so there won’t be another round until 2020, so if you don’t go this time, you’ll have to wait a long time! They’re in September this year. 

5) there are a lot of yurt stays available on AirBnB and I’m definitely going to do one. But most people don’t really live in yurts there; the Soviets pushed them into houses more than they did the Mongolians, so while they’re still fairly common as summer homes, most hotels and such are just regular hotels, and most people in the towns live in regular houses. 

6) apparently you take dollar vans everywhere to get around. I know those from, like, Jersey City, so. (маршру́тка) We’re seriously considering renting a car instead of relying on those but, they’re said to be, well, I mean, effective. Apparently the roads there are spectacularly awful but uh, my summer job is working on a farm so I feel like I’m probably pretty well-equipped to handle driving a car on not-road roads. We’ll see, that might be hubris. I’ve rolled fewer Jeep Wranglers than a full 50% of my siblings and am tied for fewest with the other 25% of my siblings so that’s not the worst record in the world. 
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deputychairman replied to your photo “I always forget and paint my nails right before I have to do product…”

but such a cool nail colour! I don’t know what this object is but I would almost buy it just because of the cool nails holding it - isnt that how advertising works?

Ha ha my friend Danyell just said almost the same thing on Instagram. She said that she likes evidence that the seller is someone relatable.

I do product photography for a mix of stores, though– well, three. eBay, where we’ve been a seller for around 15 years, maybe more, Amazon where mostly we don’t need to upload photos but very occasionally we do, and Etsy, which is my pet project. eBay, our competition often has blurry cellphone pics, so anything goes really– but for years, we were extremely slick, and our small company’s owners wanted to look like we were much bigger, thinking that would make us seem more credible. So we really try for sterile, professional, catalog-style shots, all white background and no hands and no shadows. 

Etsy is a much quirkier marketplace, and they actively encourage you to pose with the products and such. I gave up on using cute backdrops (we have a weathered-wood windowsill and a brick wall that looked phenomenal but it was a hassle to shoot there, customers could see me and would bug me) and just use white, but I’ll have my hands in the shot a lot more, and sometimes, yeah, I’ll have cute fingernails in a shot or two, or have some of my sleeve showing or something. There have been a couple of items where I’ve convinced various of the retail clerks to pose with it– there was one enormous lens, a 600mm f/2.8 I think, that I got one of our smallest shopgirls to hold for effect. She’s like, five feet tall, and this thing was a 30-pound behemoth with a front glass element like a dinner plate. I was pretty proud of that shot.

As for the nail polish– I just bought it! The grocery store cheap brand, Sinful Colors, in Endless Blue, because I’ve been looking for royal blue nail polish for ages and am sure I own some and can’t find it. <3 I might put a layer of glitter overtop because I definitely have blue glitter.
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Aw the Erie Co system doesn’t have that one, but it does look kind of cool! Answering this publicly in case it can help someone else. :)

Mango Languages– they have a lot! No Kyrgyz, but they do have Kazakh! 

And it’s never a bother to get an ask from someone who’s got relevant advice! I follow you back, you know! <3 <3 <3
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Like 40% of the convos I get on Etsy are from people who look at a listing, and then send me a question to ask how much it will cost them to select the thing they want from the drop-down, specify the product they want, add it to the cart, and look at the total. 

I mean how much it will cost them for me to do that for them and then send them a fucking screenshot

i would do that except Etsy doesn’t let me add my own products to a cart so I have to get out a calculator like an animal

but really what the fuck. ask me how long it will take. ask me if there’s a refund policy if the thing doesn’t turn out. ask me something else.

just. add the fuckers to your cart and look at the total. there’s your question answered.

why the fuck is this a thing.
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Ooh here’s another rant, just in case you thought maybe I’d been too mushy about my Dude lately– 

I cooked a big pork roast on Sunday, and the first thing the recipe said to do was turn the oven up to 500. Now, that’s super hot. That’s the hottest that thing can do. So I knew if there’s anything that’s dripped over in that oven it’s going to smoke.

So, with Dude sitting right fucking there in the room, I opened the oven and gave it a quick swipe to clean it, making sure there was nothing in there. You know, shit drips over and bubbles on the bottom of the oven and whatnot, so I tried to clear it out a bit.

 I did not check the broiler because I have never, in my life, one time, ever, used the broiler in an oven. No, that’s not true; about twenty years ago I used the broiler for hamburgers and it was such a bitch to clean that I’ve never done it again. I don’t use the broiler. If I want something broiled, too fucking bad, I will pan-fry that sucker and wash a pan, I will not clean that fucking broiler pan it’s the worst thing.

I said, “let’s hope this is clean enough, it’s gonna be smoky otherwise!” and he was like “oh yah of course” and went back to clicking on his computer.

I turned the oven on. It smelled hot. I dressed the meat, and prepared the squash that was going to go in after the oven got turned down for the slow part of the roast. 

It started to smell a little smoky. “Well, shit,” I said, “I guess it wasn’t clean enough. Well, maybe crack a window, it won’t be long.”

More smoke came out. Suddenly a thick bunch of black smoke came gushing out of the oven vent. “What the fuck,” I said, and opened the oven.

Fire was coming up from underneath. “Holy fuck it’s on fire,” I said.

Dude opened the broiler drawer, and the broiler pan was actively on fire. I whacked it with a spatula. There were clumps of things burning on it. It was clearly filthy and full of grease. Almost as if– why, it had been used. If not by me, then who?

“Oh the broiler pan didn’t get cleaned,” Dude said, and grabbed hot dish mitts and carried the on fire thing out the door into the snowy driveway. 

Didn’t get cleaned. When the fuck was it used???!?!?!!

“We’ll have to clean that up later,” he said.

Buddy who the fuck do you think is going to clean that up also you BOOBY TRAPPED MY FUCKING OVEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS “WE” SHIT.

Monday morning at work I blew my nose and it came out black with soot. 

Once the broiler pan full of fucking charred grease and flames was gone the oven worked fine and I prepared the rest of dinner without a problem but 

buddy you fucking booby-trapped my fucking oven!!!!!

WHO USES THE BROILER PAN AND THEN LEAVES IT FULL OF CARBONIZED FAT LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL OH MY GOD.

I am so mad at him. 

The broiler pan is still sitting outside in the driveway, off to the side where it won’t get run over. He is going to Conveniently Forget All About It until I either decide to take care of it, or stew about it until it’s irretrievably damaged and we have to throw it away and he gets mad about it and passive-aggressively mutters about us having nice things etcetera.

Which, given that i have never used this broiler pan and don’t think they should exist, is really a win-win for me, I guess. Try fucking booby-trapping my oven now, punk.

Yeah– I’m going to just ignore that broiler pan, and if he doesn’t fucking remember carrying it out the door while it was on fire, he doesn’t deserve a broiler pan.
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Oo this is a good thing to look into. Yes, I’d already been cautioned to steer well clear of Aeroflot! But I didn’t know about the Turkish visa thing, and the friend who’d been advising us about Istanbul probably doesn’t either! 
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walburgablack replied to your post “Ooh here’s another rant, just in case you thought maybe I’d been too…”

oh. god. I would not know how to deal with this sort of thing. I had to soak a fungus-y pressure cooker today because we forgot to scrape it out in time, but things actually on fire would freak me out.

I actually have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen. I know where it is, it’s near but not behind the stove (crucial: you must not put it somewhere you’d have to reach through what’s most likely on fire to get to!), it’s rated for both grease and electrical fires (I think??). I thought about getting it. But I was like. Well. If i can just beat this with a spatula until it goes out, then I won’t have to use the fire extinguisher, which I’ve never used and also I know will be a total fucking mess.

Our toaster catches fire occasionally too. Smushing the burning thing with a spatula usually works.

A spatula would not have worked for this, it was too big. IT WAS LIKE WHOLE HUNKS OF ANIMAL FAT WHO LEAVES A BROILER PAN LOOKING LIKE THAT OH MY GOD.

So. Dude did the smart thing, went first and opened the door, then got hot dish mitts. It’s important not to do anything foolish when confronted with fire. I have no complaints about his handling.

But the passive voice and use of “we”– Not Acceptable. Absolutely not, bucko! “We” did not fail to do this! It did not fail to happen on its own! 
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deputychairman replied to your post “Ooh here’s another rant, just in case you thought maybe I’d been too…”

Oh man I know SO MANY men who do this!! Not ‘ooh, guess this a problem for future me’ but ‘I’ll just leave this here until a woman needs to use the oven and then act surprised when there are flames’

YES THAT’S WHAT GETS ME

It’s NEVER a problem for future him! It’s always My Fault! It’s Future Me’s guilt-ridden breakdown! It’s a problem until I either deal with it or Fail To Deal With It whereupon he can passive-aggressively act Put Upon! 

Scenario 1: “Oh it’s April and that broiler pan is all full of rust and unusable,” I’ll say finally when I can’t stand it staring accusingly at me anymore. “Oh No How Could This Happen,” he will say, fixing me with a hurt look, because clearly it’s my fault that I noticed it and didn’t fix it, because All This Time He Just Truly Never Noticed It There, Surely If He’d Noticed It He Would Have Fixed It, It’s All My Fault Because I’m The Only One Who Knew It Was There and I just let it rot because I am A Horrible Person.

Either that or Scenario 2: I march straight home today and say “So what are you going to do about that broiler pan??” now before the thing’s irredeemable, and then I Am A Passive-Aggressive Nagging Harridan and Witness How He Suffers Under My Irrationality, God.

(Either way, you notice– it is My Problem! I’m the Only One Who Can See It because it is Miraculously Invisible and so it’s My Fault And Therefore My Problem!)

The final option, Scenario 3: I quietly go home and pick it up and clean it and put it away, but I can guarantee you that this will mean that he literally genuinely truly never ever remembers that this actually happened, and so will repeat this exact feat for Future Me to again be unsuspectingly set afire when yet again this mysterious broiler pan is full of charred animal parts even though I have forgone all delicious flame-charred meats because I won’t use that thing because I don’t want to clean it. My choices were in vain! It somehow filled itself with hamburger grease even though I pan-fry my hamburgers like a savage because we can’t have nice things.

(Unless I learn from this and then make a point of periodically removing and invisibly cleaning the broiler pan so that I don’t catch fire, (“Ha, ha, ha! Oh, how does this thing keep getting itself dirty when no one is looking! What a hilarious joke and also totally invisible and consequence-free part of my domestic duties!”) which would be the Proper Wifely Thing To Do if I don’t want drama. But joke’s on you, buddy boy, you never fucking married me now did you.)

(What, am I supposed to be grateful that he cooks?? I guess I’m supposed to be grateful that he cooks.)

And maybe I really should just clean it up like a big girl but listen he does housework and then is like look how hard i worked  and sort of sighs around the house and such, and when i try to list back all the things I’ve done, so many of them are profoundly invisible to him (yes, he acknowledges that i do laundry, i got tired of always putting his clothes away so i started just dumping them on the bed, he then would push them off onto the floor, meaning they’d get lost, so i finally started putting his socks into a place for him, but that doesn’t count, i’m not putting his clothes away! only yes I am, it just doesn’t count now) that they just don’t count. They didn’t happen. He thinks I’m making them up. The toilet never was dirty in the first place. The bathroom sink just doesn’t get dusty, and the toothpaste deposits he leaves go away on their own. The mug of water he swirls around the sink after he shaves totally gets all the hair off, nobody has to wipe that down or anything. Those things just happen. The things he does take work.

He has no idea he sees the world this way.
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