Me: I think you have a ghost that fucks with your lights

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Me: I think you have a ghost that fucks with your lightswitches.

Farmsister: No, that’s just the shitty sense of humor of the guy who wired the place.

Me: I swear I memorize which switch controls which light, and then the next time I go to turn the lights out they’ve switched and I get the wrong one.

Sis: No, you’re just not remembering correctly.

Me, a little huffy: Come on, it’s way more interesting if there’s a ghost.

Sis: No it isn’t. We don’t have ghosts.

Me: Come on, a ghost would be cool.

Sis: If there’s a ghost in this house, it’d be in the guest room.

Me, who sleeps in the guest room now that the yurt is down: Uh-huh, I see.

Sis: I’m serious, it’s the spookiest room.

Me: Thanks. 

Me: *sleeps with the lights on*

unicornduke replied to your post “A pair of

via http://ift.tt/2zS0SOj:unicornduke replied to your post “A pair of ladies showed up at 3:25 for the 4:00 fresh chicken sale. …”

it’s really the worst. people just expect they can show up to a farm whenever they want. my parents’ farm is only open friday nights and the weekend and the number of people that show up during the week is astounding.

Ugh I feel you. People feel free to stop by here too, and demand tours. One guy made my b-i-l, in the middle of a work day, stop and give him a 45-minute explanation of what “organic” means and why he should care about sustainable farming. Which, like, ok, cool, but it’s 2pm on a Thursday and I’m on the clock, buddy, and if I don’t feed those pigs they’re going to eat the fence and come get me. Some lady who buys $5 of eggs per week demanded a personal tour for her and her friends and he didn’t tell them to fuck off! He’s a nicer guy than me. (Some of that is a problem of anyone self-employed, though– people just assume you’re not busy because your boss isn’t going to make you do anything because you’re the boss, right? and it’s like, uh, if I don’t do it now I have to do it later, I actually don’t get to slack off?)

In this case some of it is because they *do* encourage people to come by the farm, though. Most CSAs have a drop-off point, so you don’t ever have to go all the way out to the farm, you just grab a box from wherever your pickup point is. But this one, it’s required that you come to the farm to pick up. (And they make you bring your own box, lol. You have to go through and sort out how many of whatever you’re supposed to get. Which is good because there’s free choice on some things, and if you don’t like eggplant, you can take an extra pepper instead, or whatever.) They want there to be a community aspect, and for the subscriber to feel like they have some stake of ownership in the whole farm. And there’s a U-pick component– there’s a perennial herb and flower garden, and an annual picking garden full of flowers, herbs, and things like cherry tomatoes and tomatillos and husk cherries. 

The previous owners had a much smaller picking garden and were pretty down on the idea of anyone coming by not during set pickup hours, but my sister and her husband have told subscribers they can come pick during any daylight hours all season; they don’t mind. And the self-serve egg fridge is open noon to 7pm daily. 

It’s just that events that require staffing, like the plant and meat sales, have very specific start and end times, and usually we’re rushing like mad ahead of those times and can’t stop to help some person who showed up early!

Sister says I’m not really allowed to be annoyed with the people who showed up 45 minutes early yesterday, though, because they were a pair of mobility-impaired old ladies who bought $200 worth of chicken, and they surely came early because they knew they’d have to park like jerks because the driveway is hard to navigate if you have a cane (it’s gravel). So, I remain annoyed like the dog was, but I can see their perspective. They weren’t impatient, they were willing to wait in their car, they just wanted to get in and buy their stuff and get out before everyone else showed up and it got crowded and became a Problem that they were parked so close.

Some other dude bought twelve chickens, which was kind of cool. We might actually not get to put any of this batch into the freezer. But that’s fine, we already laid in our inventory over the summer to last us until May, when we start processing again.

and-then-bam-cassiopeia reblogged your post and

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and-then-bam-cassiopeia reblogged your post and added:

…dang you’re so right about the feathers and the plucking

anyway my brain doesn’t want to leave the subject so: considering Luke and Rey are stuck on Ahch-To, if they were to kill a porg for food, best way to go about it would probably be to bleed it a funnel (ideally you’d shock it first, but I guess they can do that with the Force, or just get at the jugular through the brain, the old fashioned way). Scalding would make the plucking easier, but too much and the meat starts cooking. An alternate method would be to kill and then empty the porg without plucking it, coat it in wet clay and cook ‘til it hardens. When you break the crust the feathers come off with it.

FWIW I consulted with my sister and she thought an animal with waterproof feathers, like a Porg would surely have, would be a bitch and a half to pluck. So she endorsed your encased-in-clay method of cooking. 

We bleed the chickens to a funnel, and turkeys, but that’s assuming you can catch them. I dunno how you’d catch a porg– I assume if you could hit it with concussive waves using the Force or something that’d be optimal, and then you could do whatever you wanted… but is it unethical for Jedi to hunt with the Force? I mean, what kind of boundaries are there on that? Surely canon has not addressed this.

Oh and people always ask, why not just cut the chickens’ head off, instead of just severing an artery, and the answer is that the blood circulates better with the head still attached so you get the animal bled more cleanly. It’d be even worse if you cut the thing’s head off with a lightsaber, as saber wounds don’t bleed.

You’re ideally supposed to use a stunning knife to kill chickens but we don’t have one and are sort of scared of getting one (what if the guy doing the knife-wielding stuns himself? that’d, well, be real unpleasant. he really doesn’t want to try. Also when he uses the regular knife he holds the chicken’s head. How do you avoid shocking yourself while you hold the chicken’s head? that’s not how electricity works). Anyway… 

bedlamsbard: Marvel’s Star Wars: Poe Dameron

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bedlamsbard:

Marvel’s Star Wars: Poe Dameron #20
written by Chales Soule, art by Angel Unzueta, colors by Arif Prianto

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.  GET IT, BB-8.

thebyrchentwigges: bethagain: Does anyone else have trouble coming up with action/adventure...

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thebyrchentwigges:

bethagain:

Does anyone else have trouble coming up with action/adventure plots?

I was watching Star Wars Rebels yesterday and thinking, gee, I bet it would be really fun to write for this show.

And then I thought… I don’t think I could ever come up with the action part of each episode. If someone handed it to me, like a little outline, I have no doubt I could flesh it out into a full story. But I struggle to come up with that kind of stuff from scratch.

I don’t know why I’m posting about this, tbh, except that I guess I’m hoping folks will either say YES! TOTALLY EMPATHIZE! COMING UP WITH ADVENTURES IS HARD! or maybe someone will have a suggestion on how to break through this block?

Because I do love good adventure stories. And I think it would be such fun to write some.

Confession: sometimes I base the action part of a plot on something I think would be…cool. An intriguing conflict, or an action sequence. And I have a sound metric for whether I have the inspiration to carry through on it: if I want to describe it in all caps.

AN OLD GUY FIGHTING A DRAGON WITH THE POWER OF LINGUISTICS…A CAR THAT HAS AN AIRCRAFT ENGINE IN A RACE TO THE DEATH…THEY HAVE TO SLICE A MOON IN HALF, FOR SCIENCE…

I get mentally shouty about any fight scene with unusual weapons.

I probably shouldn’t lay my id bare like this but the vast majority of my action plots come from me brainstorming ways to get the emotional beats I want. I have a thing about tormenting characters, and so I often will imagine the scene, of Our Noble Heroine, keeping her voice strong on the mic, not letting anyone realize that she knows she’s taking near-fatal damage from… something… while the others escape… and then she lingers near-death until Character B can Suddenly Realize! and Save Her! And lovingly Nurse Her Back To Health So They Can Realize Their Mutual Feelings! So ok I need something that will slowly and silently cause damage that can be handwavily-believably recovered from in not too long a time, given the tech of this world. Hmmmmm could I use… radiation? or something I invent of whole-cloth in-universe but that sounds suspiciously like work, no good. How about a, ooh, a cave-in and the air is running out and she’s been injured but is hiding it because there’s no point in worrying character B YES PAYDIRT.

And then you stretch out the complications for another few thousand words, then you tack on the plot where Character B has a turn being Nobly Heroic, hmm, maybe that should be emotional torture, yes hmmm, what doesn’t break anyone’s characterization?

It’s literally like that. I don’t have any blinding flashes of insight. But I like there to be plot so my characters have something to whine about, and it turns out I tend to write really plotty things. 

Very occasionally I do get a mental image, like, how badass would it be to give Character A a really huge fuckoff gun and let her shoot every single bad guy. That would be so badass. I’m’a make that happen. but it’s usually in service to the emotional drama. 

I know let’s give her a secret baby too. EVEN BETTER. PREGNANT LADY WITH HUGE FUCKOFF GUN. 

I have never written that scenario and now I actually have to. Thanks for that.

scotchtapeofficial: scotchtapeofficial: i’m

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scotchtapeofficial:

scotchtapeofficial:

i’m wearing my contacts for the first time in a while and i literally forgot what cold wind blowing directly on my eyeballs felt like. i can’t stop squinting this is awful how do u do it @ people w/o glasses

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE ITS PHRASED SO FUCKING FUNNY BUT THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO