ughhh it’s not the seasonal depresh but

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ughhh it’s not the seasonal depresh but it’s brainfogs galore.

Ever since I was at the farm, I had my wallet in a purse. I put it there the second-last day I was there, because I had no pockets in that outfit. I left it there to drive back across the state, because I had no pockets in the driving outfit either.

I know I had the purse on Sunday; I left the house to go get ice cream. I almost forgot the purse at the ice cream place, remembered it, got it out of the car.

I grabbed the purse on Monday. I had a separate bag with my laptop and my lunch in it. I thought, this is too many bags I’ll forget one, but I’m pretty sure I brought it home on Monday night. I know I had it, because one of my coworkers paid me back $5 and i put it into my wallet, I remember doing that.

Tuesday morning I went out to the car with only my laptop bag. Halfway to work, I remembered: no purse. Means no wallet. Means when anyone asks “going out, want coffee?” I gotta remember to say no, because I can’t pay ‘em back. Spent the day at work wishing I had two dollars for a coffee, because I’m sleepy and foggy as fuck, but oh well.

Got home today, Tuesday, put my laptop bag away, didn’t see my purse. Went out to dinner, looked harder for purse. Not in house, not in car. 

I had to literally go to my Google Timeline to see where I’ve been for the last three days. No, I have not so much as stopped for gas in that time (and my Timeline would know, it’s creepy as fuck). So there is literally nowhere else my purse (and wallet!) could be. It has to be that I left it at work. There’s nowhere else it could be. It’s not in my house and it’s not in my car.

Sigh.

am in my house, hundreds of miles from the yurt, sitting in our glassed-in porch which is our living

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am in my house, hundreds of miles from the yurt, sitting in our glassed-in porch which is our living room from like april thru november, and it’s got a concrete floor with carpets on it, i’m sitting on a couch

i saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye, and looked, and there was something like, maybe a huge spider, maybe a house centipede, over at the other end of the room, running fast across the carpet

instead of looking or reacting I just averted my eyes because I Don’t Want To Know

in the yurt I might feel obligated to investigate but you know what, No, Not Here, I Don’t Want To Know.

(The difference is that my bed is not in this room. Whatever it is, can be a mystery, and probably won’t wind up on my face at 3am. I can hope, anyway.)

lieutenantbae replied to your post “snippet post

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“You’ve taken most of your heart and put it into a separate external container where it’s really easy to get at and break. Sometimes I think I’ve spent your whole life having my heart broken over and over again.” As a parent, I’ve never felt something so deeply in my bones. I’ve said as much on multiple occasions, albeit less eloquently.

<3 I’m glad that line worked, I wasn’t sure about it, but it seemed right. 

“On your LAP, Mom? You want me to sit on your

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“On your LAP, Mom? You want me to sit on your LAP? … Nah.” 

She was on my knee and I was petting her and it was lovely and then she put a paw on my boob and… leaned… and then climbed and here we are.

Thanks, Cheets.

dingo-inna-domino-mask replied to your post “am

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I thought at first this was going to be a Seasonal ghost story

You would THINK THAT. But no. I have like zero tolerance for spooky, nowadays. 

csevet replied to your post “am in my house, hundreds of miles from the yurt, sitting in our…”

one can let a lot of things slide when one’s bedroom has actual walls and doors between itself and other rooms, or the outdoors

See, this.

Actually I was thinking about it because some vampire-etiquette post is going around again, like they do on this site, and when you’ve got a Living Place that’s sort of… Outdoors… and doesn’t like, have a proper door (next year I’ll get one, next year, maybe)… you think about those superstitions a lot, like what constitutes Indoors vs Outdoors, and threshholds and lintels and such. 

I’m too groggy to make this a coherent post so we’ll just leave that there with the conclusion that having a safe warm DRY place to sleep is an underrated Important thing and it makes sense we have a lot of weird superstitions etc and traditions around it. 

What I Don’t Tell My Students About ‘The

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feminist-space:

“In the morning I smelled gas, strong, unmistakable. “I smell gas,” I said to my husband. “I don’t smell it,” he said. He had a friend come over. “Why are you having a friend come over,” I asked, “when it doesn’t matter if he can smell it or not, and none of us can fix it?” His friend didn’t smell it, either. I called the gas company. The gas company employee didn’t smell it, either. He waved his reader around and it blasted off in three places, substantial leaks behind the stove and in the basement. “Always trust a woman’s nose,” the gas company employee said.
.
Yes, I thought, believe us.
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Then, No, I thought, I’m not a fucking witch. Believe anyone who smells gas. If someone smells gas, believe them.
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But what if this story had a different ending? What if his reader hadn’t picked anything up? What if there had been no gas? I was so relieved there was gas, so afraid I was crazy. If I smell gas and there is no gas, am I different than if I smell gas and there is? Am I crazy, then, and does my value come from not being crazy? Does my value come from being right? If there is no gas, am I not right? Does it mean I didn’t smell gas or does my experience of smelling gas still remain?
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Why are we disbelieved? Why am I skeptical of women’s chatter? Why does my husband think I don’t smell gas? Later, in the same piece, Baldwin writes, “There was a moment, in time, and in this place, when my brother, or my mother, or my father, or my sister, had to convey to me, for example, the danger in which I was standing from the white man standing just behind me, and to convey this with a speed, and in a language, that the white man could not possibly understand, and that, indeed, he cannot understand, until today. He cannot afford to understand it. This understanding would reveal to him too much about himself, and smash that mirror before which he has been frozen for so long.”
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Maybe this is why we don’t believe women. If their experience is true, we can’t stand to see our role in it.”

Oh. Hey, my purse. Have you… have you been, uh.

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Oh. Hey, my purse. Have you… have you been, uh. Have you uh. Been there the whole time?

I mean. Right next to my desk. In a spot that used to be full of junk so I never look there. And when I set you down I was like oh neat i can put my purse here so i won’t trip over it that’s super keen. And then I was like will I remember that’s th– sure I will.

Huh. Well, I guess. Uh. I guess I’m glad that uh. That uh.

Uhhm. 

I’m just gonna go hit my head on this desk for a minute, see if that gets my brain working better, k? TTYL!

I… I think this film is… a little out of

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I… I think this film is… a little out of date. Just a little though.

send an ask: get to know your author

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polyamoryavengers:

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

4) favorite character you’ve written

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

8) favorite genre to write

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

12) your weaknesses as an author

13) your strengths as an author

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

15) why did you start writing?

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of