oh right i’m sitting here spiraling about being

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oh right i’m sitting here spiraling about being shit at all kinds of shit and i forgot to mention i updated the damn AU with the cat in it

and instead of writing a gen oneshot it is badum-tshh a multi-chapter work with angst and pining! look at that. it is like i am some sort of small horse with only one feat

(I just had to look up synonyms for trick and i couldn’t remember what a thesaurus was called so i googled ‘thing to look up synonyms’ and Google linked me to a thesaurus with the search “look up” already filled in)

this burn on my arm by the way really sucks because it is really large and i was going to reward myself by taking a hot bath or something but that will only hurt more, so, i guess i have no choice but to sit here and be disgusted with myself WELP that’s just it! Hurrah!

Let’s pretend this post didn’t get so away from me, and here is the link to the story, which now has three chapters and FEELS, please validate me by reading it.

chapter 3: Can’t Move

“When I dream I can’t mm-move,” Finn said thinly, wrapping his hand around one of Poe’s arms.

“Oh, buddy,” Poe said softly. “It’s okay though. You can. You can, now. It’s okay.” He moved his hand soothingly up and down Finn’s arm. “Keep breathing. As long as you can keep breathing it means you won, okay?”

“Okay,” Finn said, and breathed, and it was coming easier now.

“You’re such a good kid,” Poe said, and his voice was low and soft and easy to listen to. “Such a good kid. I’m sorry you have to feel like this sometimes. It gets easier though. I promise it gets better the longer you stay alive.”

“I’m not,” Finn said, and it was hard to speak, “I’m not good.”

“You are, though,” Poe said.

“You don’t know what I did,” Finn said. “You don’t know what I was.”

“I don’t have to,” Poe said. “I don’t have to know, Finn. I know you’re a good person. It’s not complicated.”

sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post

via http://ift.tt/2enid7g:sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post “when i’m at the farm i can cook just fine but here i am in my own damn…”

Who does that? My guy. Who’s a terrific cook but has burns and cuts all over the place, including that arm one, from the top of the oven while sliding in a tray that may have contained pizza. I avoid it by being lousy at cooking.

ugh it blistered. ugh come on, self.

i just had such a trashfire-self of a night last night. but it did serve as some pretty good inspiration for the found cat AU, what with Poe needing to be a trashfire in progress. now I know what his motivations are. 

i just literally shook my head at myself, like, physically, in an empty room, but. i mean. well?

fysw: Well, Phantom Menace was the first movie I saw, and...

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fysw:

Well, Phantom Menace was the first movie I saw, and then a few years later I then saw the originals. But during that time I was just into the merchandise, the games, the comic books, and the Star Wars fandom has been with me ever since. And then I got cast! They cast a Star Wars fan in a Star Wars movie and now it’s over. It’s guaranteed. Star Wars is going to be with me for the rest of my life.

buttons-beads-lace asked “oh shit yeah no,

via http://ift.tt/2e9AMOr:buttons-beads-lace asked “oh shit yeah no, don’t touch the box. I was about to be like “it’s…”

yeah the first thing i did was google Potassium Permanganate and I was like huh. stains everything pink, corrosive, used for purifying large quantities of water, corrosive, huh. 

just gonna. peek inside this box, see that it’s loose powder (WTF), and close it back up. Yyyyyeahhhhh…. The box is cool though, maybe I’ll figure out how to safely dispose of the powder and then keep something totally bizarre in the box. 

My mismatched coffee cup lid matches the sweatshirt I had...

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My mismatched coffee cup lid matches the sweatshirt I had stashed on the back of my chair and I’m all on this color scheme today. Also my dress has t-rexes on it so that’s cool.

agenderdaryl replied to your post

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re: why potassium permanganate, wiki says it used to be used for flash-powder photography? hipsterism has gone too far

oh this wasn’t a hipster camera bag. this was genuine vintage. 

the end of the business i work in got a lot more high-stakes when the hipsters started buying. but i’m not at the end that really sells to them so much. i’m at the end that paws through the weird shit we have and decides what to sell and what to throw away. 

the camera bag also contained three pre-1930s cine cameras. and the box for a premoette packfilm camera, but not the camera itself, alas. 

i should post more pictures of it but tbh i’m kind of burned out on a lot of it by now. i just. i see so much, and trying to figure out what’s literally worthless from what’s highly sought-after is higher stakes than i like to work with.

having the kind of day where i’m just going to

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having the kind of day where i’m just going to PostBlock every single post I’ve seen more than five times including ones I’ve reblogged myself because i’m tired of how this site works and I don’t want to only follow people because of the content they post, i want to follow people who I’m interested in as people, and I’m so tired. I’m just. So tired.

There was some other social media site people were excited about, and I tried to get an invite to it but i think Tumblr ate my messages about it, and I don’t even remember now what the site was but whatever it was, i don’t think it took off.

nothing will take off. nothing will happen until Tumblr implodes in some final way, and I’ll scramble up on the wrack of a new site and have to start over, having somewhere lost literally everyone here I cared about, and maybe I’ll stumble across familiar usernames in the wreckage, like I did from LJ, but most of you, I won’t find again. I’m already mourning it, but I’m also fuckign impatient for Tumblr to just finally die because I”m so tired. I’m so tired. 

bettydays: slatestarscratchpad: You know those stories about clueless old people who get to their...

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bettydays:

slatestarscratchpad:

You know those stories about clueless old people who get to their Gmail account by typing “Google” into Bing, clicking on Google in the Bing search results, typing “Gmail” into Google, and then clicking on Gmail in the Google search results?

I am reading about serotonin transmission now, and everything in the human brain works on this principle. If your brain needs to downregulate a neurotransmitter, it’ll start by upregulating a completely different neurotransmitter, which upregulates the first neurotransmitter, which hits autoreceptors that downregulate the first neurotransmitter, which then cancel the upregulation, and eventually the neurotransmitter gets downregulated.

Meanwhile, my patients are all like “How come this drug that was supposed to cure my depression is giving me vision problems?” and at least on some level the answer is “how come when Bing is down your grandfather can’t access Gmail?”

if someone had explained it this way to me in college i probably wouldn’t have gotten a C in behavioral neuroscience II