ringing... in my ears...

My right ear suddenly went deaf about an hour ago, then started ringing. These things happen sometimes but it is maddening me at the moment.
I think I've been having what greygirlbeast refers to as dreamsickness. I keep having strange dreams that I wake reluctantly from, and I spend the next few hours struggling out of the strange senses-- of urgency, of confusion, of disillusionment-- that linger after the dreams. I've taken it easy all week because I've had this odd post-Pennsic funk, both mental and physical, but it's showing no signs of going away. More unpleasantly, it's manifested in being easily annoyed with Z-- who, I might mention, has been in an odd mood of his own, so there's that-- so in general, things just aren't cheerful. And my ear won't stop ringing.
So that's what's in progress at the moment. Pthbbbpt.
( the sad tally of things I'm not feeling up to doing )

Not now, though. I have things to do and places to go today. Mostly I have to trek to Syracuse to see many of my teammates play in a roller derby bout. It's an informal, one-year-vet-only version of our travel team, and so not really our travel team at all. But I just can't muster any excitement about roller derby yet. I'm not ready for the off-season to be over. I'm not ready to go back to it. Which is a bummer; it's going to be an exciting year I'm sure. I just can't... make myself happy. So I'm going to go be a loud obnoxious excited superfan in a city over two hours away, and hope that kick-starts things.

Maybe I'll bring my cross-stitch with me and get some of it done...

real life is not cooperating

So I just got an email from my mom half an hour ago saying that Baby Sister and Surprise Husband are going to be in Albany from tomorrow through Wednesday.
...
When I spoke to her she said they would be driving through Buffalo and would visit me, "at some point" on their way to Albany, and I hadn't time in the brief phone conversation to nail down when that would be but I had assumed, since they were still in Nevada, that it would be some time, since they planned on swinging through Chicago and doing some visiting there. So I made no plans, expecting to hear from her again sometime next week.

Tonight I am driving to Syracuse. It is more than halfway to Albany. Had I known that my only chance for the forseeable future of meeting this Surprise Husband would be to be in Albany early this week, I could have easily made plans to continue my trip from Syracuse a couple more hours to Albany, and stayed there a couple of days.

I could have made such plans up until about eleven a.m. today.

But I did not know that this would be the case until, yes, two p.m. Which is three hours too late to make any plans, and two hours too late to make any last-second plans, and one hour too late to make any last-ditch-desperation plans. Too late. Too, too late.


Am I being totally irrational to find myself furious just now?

I must be crazy.
Silly me.

This is really not helping my desperate attempts to be in a more positive mood. Really it's not.