dream

I dreamed that Z and I got married on some kind of reality TV show.
It was a really vivid dream.
There was a lot of standing around in bars putting up with really horrible guys.
There was some kind of online message board where the show was discussed among both fans and participants, and when I put up that I was going to marry Z, I got all these horrible messages from people who thought I meant this other dude who had been heavily, cluelessly hitting on me in the bar one night, and that footage must have gone on the air in an episode or something. And I couldn't figure out how to reply to the messages, and it was real-life friends that were really upset with me, and it freaked me out.

And then the wedding itself was this fug-tastic orgy of ick. I think I was wearing red velvet. But not in a classy way. And just-- ick.

I woke up completely grossed out-- I hate TV, I really do, and basically have never watched an entire episode of a reality show because it made me feel so icky-- and it was time to wake up, and there was Chita, and I thought she was going to come up and give me lovies like she usually does. But she sat by my knee instead, so when I reached down to pet her she ran away.

She wouldn't give me lovies all afternoon yesterday either. Or yesterday morning.

I must smell bad to kitties.

This makes me very sad.

I am struggling with whether to go to work today or not. I ate plain pasta with olive oil and oregano for dinner last night, and it was pretty OK. I kept it down. I got a short nap, I slept like 6-7 hours last night, I should be good today. My eyelids are swollen, randomly, but I should be fine.
I feel a bit icky in the intestinal area. But I feel really icky in the whole mental area.

Is that an excuse to call in? I probably won't throw up again. Maybe the other direction, but not violently or uncontrollably. And the office manager will think I'm a complete wuss if I don't make it in.

Heh, thinking about it makes me feel really oogy.

home sick

Chita has avoided giving me lovies today except for a few moments while I was eating-- then she came and was very affectionate.
I don't know why she does that, as we never feed her from the table.

Anyway. The point is that I ate. I spent the morning completely useless and logy, but I have so much to do to day it's really not funny. So I showered, and then decided to try eating. I had no appetite, and no interest in anything, but eventually took leftover chicken soup and added leftover roasted vegetables and microwaved the lot, and it was awesome once I was eating it, but now I have a tummy ache.
Blargh.

I had hoped that I would turn out to have just been being lazy this morning, and would miraculously find the energy to tidy my disaster of a house, or at least to do laundry, but I am not feeling really up to standing up, let alone moving around. If I could tidy with my mind, I'd... well, this would all be moot.
My mind's no great shakes today either, though.

I am supposed to be writing a meeting agenda and also writing a monthly report for the PR Committee for the rollergirls. I did finish one bit, a press release bit I was supposed to write, that I wrote days ago and just never revised. Go me!

Sigh. I am no good at being a slacker, even. Sad.

also

From Z's latest blog.