open thread!

OK I seem to never have the damn time to update this despite all the crap going on. Interesting things? Maybe not. Whatever.

Instead I present to you an open thread, on the following topic:

( We Need Some Really Pathetic Excuses. )

So far Z and I have come up with a few good ones, so I'll start the ball rolling. How do you repel unwanted romantic propositions? The more humorously pathetic the excuse, the better. (Remember, we're trying to give unsubtle hints without actually being mean.)

* I've got to burp my Tupperware.
* I have to stay home and watch TV. [if pressed:] The Pocket Fisherman infomercial.
* According to the Egyptian calendar, the world is ending that day and I have to stay home and freshen up before meeting Isis.
* My car is lonely so I was going to just spend the evening with it. We need some quality time.
* I'm allergic. (Don't specify to what.)
* I need to check the goods in my pantry for their expiration dates. Did you know half of one percent of premature deaths in America are caused by expired baking soda?



Amusingly, or not, this somewhat ties in with a relatively serious blog entry I'll probably never have time to make, but whatever. I'll get to it when I'm retired.
Update:
We have a provisional winner, from the comment thread on the f-locked original post on her journal, courtesy of Z:
* I'd love to but it's Tommy Lee's birthday [true!] and I want to commemorate it by watching the Pamela Anderson Lee Sex Tape. Alone.


Come on folks, I know one of you can top that.
Or, at least, can rival it. ;)

agh

Fie on thee, Inter-Net! You are all trying to conspire to make me write the damn thing lurking in my brain!

this about sex-segregated classrooms plus this series on the Mars & Venus myth plus the fact that my high school reunion featured a symposium on women's empowerment and you all really want me to write up that essay-rant on cultural decay and men's disempowerment and how the only way to save the world is to ZOMG Think of the Mens!

But I don't have time. Sorry.

(For later reference, I'm not saying feminism is a bad thing, I'm saying the fact that feminism means Women Being Enabled To Be Just Like Men has rather done a number on global society because basically the only way to be successful is to aspire to Success as defined 50 years ago by a bunch of old white dudes and so women can only do it by being as much like men as possible and yes doors are opened but other doors are closed-- I and many of my compatriots, for example, feel that motherhood is an impossibility, not even a choice if we want to Realize Our Potentials-- but meanwhile, professional moms are starting to carve out places for themselves, and yet, their husbands, many in the same professions, Do Not Dare admit that they'd rather just stay home with the kids, thanks, and if the women can admit that, someday, maybe someday the men could admit it too, and we could remake a society that defines success in less family/community-hostile ways.
But I don't have time to write an essay, didn't I say? Shit. I guess I'd better stop here. This journal has gotten way lame.)