![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
attitude shifts
Feb. 24th, 2006 09:49 amIn one of those at-loose-ends moments, in between two other things when there wasn't enough time to do anything requiring concentration, I took a couple moments to scroll back through my old entries to see just how long I've been working on assembling this draft of Barbarians_Novel. It seemed to me that I was not making very fast progress, but i couldn't remember when I'd started it. I'm approaching 50,000 words in the sequential draft, probaby at least half of which has been freshly-composed, so I was curious as to how fast I'd been going.
I didn't officially start working on this draft until mid-January-- I hadn't realized. I had forgotten that I didn't decide officially to drop to part-time until a week or two into that month, and the schedule didn't go into effect until I think the final week. So we're only on my fourth or fifth week of redrafting. (Pff, like I even know what day it is today.)
Which makes me feel a lot better, honestly-- I'd hoped to finish it by mid-February, but a lot more has needed redrafting than I'd thought (I forgot what an idiot I was in November...). I did a goodly amount of decent work on it yesterday but I think I'm just coming up on the halfway point now, which is frustrating. But for just 4 weeks' work, one of which I was away, it's not so terribly bad.
And it's just reinforced for me why it's so important that I have this journal. I am never really aware of my own attitude shifts. I have no memory of myself, not clearly, and I often simply forget what my goals were. I tend to think that how I am at this moment is how I always have been and always will be, and don't realize that I am exceedingly mercurial in my tastes and beliefs.
So, for some of you who wonder why on earth I blog the stuff I do-- in two weeks, I'll look back at what I wrote and it will be as though some other person wrote it. And that's fascinating, although frustrating.
Really, at heart, I am approximately a goldfish.
And yes, I'm listening to Enya. Why? She doesn't distract me. I know, figure that one out. But it's true. I may have to buy some more of this pablum. Thanks to Enya I can write on the bus. I kid you not. Wow.
I didn't officially start working on this draft until mid-January-- I hadn't realized. I had forgotten that I didn't decide officially to drop to part-time until a week or two into that month, and the schedule didn't go into effect until I think the final week. So we're only on my fourth or fifth week of redrafting. (Pff, like I even know what day it is today.)
Which makes me feel a lot better, honestly-- I'd hoped to finish it by mid-February, but a lot more has needed redrafting than I'd thought (I forgot what an idiot I was in November...). I did a goodly amount of decent work on it yesterday but I think I'm just coming up on the halfway point now, which is frustrating. But for just 4 weeks' work, one of which I was away, it's not so terribly bad.
And it's just reinforced for me why it's so important that I have this journal. I am never really aware of my own attitude shifts. I have no memory of myself, not clearly, and I often simply forget what my goals were. I tend to think that how I am at this moment is how I always have been and always will be, and don't realize that I am exceedingly mercurial in my tastes and beliefs.
So, for some of you who wonder why on earth I blog the stuff I do-- in two weeks, I'll look back at what I wrote and it will be as though some other person wrote it. And that's fascinating, although frustrating.
Really, at heart, I am approximately a goldfish.
And yes, I'm listening to Enya. Why? She doesn't distract me. I know, figure that one out. But it's true. I may have to buy some more of this pablum. Thanks to Enya I can write on the bus. I kid you not. Wow.
