wednesday

So I actually shut down my computer last night-- which I probably hadn't done in several months-- and just slept, without its sleeping blinky light illuminating the wall of my bedroom. (Macs have a pulsating white light that reminds one of breathing while they're asleep, and it's surprisingly bright even though I've a Post-it stuck over the one on my iMac.) Without the (very soft) noise of its fan, I could hear-- the noise of the fan on the server in Dave's room. Eh well. (Also, the refrigerator. Our fridge is ridiculously loud. It sounds like demented crickets. It sings me songs. Dave thinks I'm crazy when I sing him the songs.)

I am refreshed this morning, and so have delved into the Newton to have a look at my writings of Wednesday.
Wednesday I wasn't feeling very well. I became convinced during the morning that I was an incompetent human being, and when I went to catch the bus I was, for no reason, nearly in tears and repeating half-nonsensical phrases to myself. It was weird, and intense. So when I got on the bus I wrote it down. But it wasn't nearly so intense by then; the thought of writing it down had come to me about midway through, and I almost immediately began to calm down as I started to think about what parts of my rather disjointed and strange thoughts would be best-suited to being written-down, and it all started to be interesting for its own sake rather than anything I was actually experiencing. So I sat on the bus and, rather tamely, wrote ( this )

.

And then I felt better. And all was ok. Except that I was dizzy, at times quite dizzy, and that persisted for several hours, which was a bit dangerous at work, as I was trying to carry trays of heavy drinks, and if I bent my head forward the room would spin. It eventually stopped though, and hasn't come back, so it's OK, and I didn't drop anything on anyone, so all is well.

Also on that bus ride, I wrote this little bit of ... I suppose flash-fiction. I don't know what it is. But it's very odd, and not very me. But I kind of like it.

April 2066

I woke up tomorrow and I was in a nursing home and I couldn't remember what happened today. They told me I was eighty-seven. I asked them, astonished, what year it was. They smiled indulgently and said it was 2066. They said it would be Mother's Day soon and my daughter would come to see me with her kids, because she always did for Mother's Day.
This surprised me as well. They assured me that all was well, I had two kids and three grandchildren and had led a long and productive life. I was quite surprised; last I remembered, I hadn't even been sure I wanted kids.
In the end I suppose I was relieved. I mean, I'd done everything I'd always intended to, or at least the important parts. I wish I remembered some of it, but in the end it's better to have it out of the way. I died before Mother's Day so I didn't see my daughter or her kids, but really, at least I knew about them.

Ha!

Lookit that! Not one but TWO tulips are blooming today!

One of them, I didn't plant. But the other one I so totally did. Also, more daffodils. Remind me when they've stopped blooming to move them all to the front yard, because they look a bit silly all spread out, and they bloom faster in the front yard.

(Er, I took pictures, but haven't downloaded them yet. I'll put them up a bit later.)

downtime

I was fairly useless today, i must admit.
Apart from doing a tiny bit of work in the garden/yard, and a bit of kitchen wizardry to make a casserole for dinner, I haven't done anything at all today, useful or otherwise.
I spent more than an hour just lying in my bed napping, only I wasn't sleepy, so I just lay there and zoned out.

I also surfed the Web a bit, in a manner I haven't done in a while-- reading friendsfriends pages, reading the archives of long-dormant secondary livejournals (whatever happened to firetofire? I only just discovered it and am wondering where they planned to go with it and why they stopped), reading news stories.

In my head I made progress on various stories, but I did no actual work on them. Though I did decide that there should be more sports in Valinor. All through dinner I sat at the dinette table watching the athletic field across the way: in the background, a baseball game was going on, with tiny distant children frolicking behind the bleachers, while in the foreground, two boys were rather ineptly playing pitch and catch with lacrosse sticks. I usually sit in the chair that looks straight out the window, so I can't help but watch whatever's happening on the athletic field. I rather think the lone boy who stayed behind after his companion left to play catch by himself had no idea anyone was watching him; I laughed mercilessly at him because the window was closed, he couldn't hear me, and he looked an utter twit. And then I was daydreaming about hot, hot Elves in athletic gear. (Maedhros in kilt, shoulder pads, and shin guards pulls off his helmet to shake his opponents' hands, sweat glistening in the mingling light of the Trees, everybody happily non-martially testosterone-sated in a manner that would be pleasing to the Gods? *wibbles* And I've never even really been into jocks, but still.)

Ha, on a different note, Dave's cousin offered to loan me his baby children so I could write more convincing infant characters in my stories. It's tempting. I know nothing about babies. However, I know nothing about babies, so there you have it.

Sigh. I kind of needed a nothing day today, though. I talk big about Getting Things Done, but then, I'll do that tomorrow. I should enjoy this having two days off phenomenon while I can. I don't think it will be happening again for a very long time.