(no subject)

yargh. hyper.
sleepy, but hyper.

I hate when I'm trying to write something to someone, only my attention span keeps fritzing out, and I can't get my point across, so I give up, and then they misunderstand what I wrote because duh, it doesn't make any sense, and so I try to explain but there's a reason I stopped in the first place, and so I just don't make any sense and that's the end of logical discourse in my universe... sigh. And then I've offended someone, who I never really meant to offend, and I can't un-offend them because well, right there is what I wrote, and it doesn't make any sense at all, so I can't possibly defend it...
pleh. soon i won't be able to comment in livejournals at all, because i'll never be online, so... that should simplify things.
i don't wanna leave here. the DSL is wonderful and i'll miss zobar too...

nanowrimo started last night, so i was up until all hours messing around. I'm at something over 3,000 words, which puts me into 18th place out of 10,000 (of those who've updated their word counts, anyhow)... but I'm likely to drop behind because i have a very busy couple of days ahead of me. Yessirree bob, i've got stuff to do.
Like today, I have to clean dave's apartment, gather up all my crap, load it in my car, and drive to Melrose. Then I have to make arrangements to meet up with this chick Penny to get advertising materials for an Arenacross event we're being paid to promote (it had never occurred to me to wonder how those posters all got put up in shops and at shows and things. Weird)-- and then I have to find 20 venues to put these posters. Places where the relevant sorts of people hang out, and whose managers will allow signs to be posted.
Then I have to drive all over and find the shops and put the posters up in them. And then take a picture of the poster in place.
Man, what I won't do for a buck.
Then, tomorrow, I have to go to the Good Charlotte show at Saratoga Winners, stand outside of it, and hand out postcards promoting Dashboard Confessional.
Yup yup yup.
I have like 4,000 postcards to hand out. Jeez.
So that's my weekend, ahead of me.

The crickets I bought at the pet shop are singing. Have been all night. God damn.
One of them escaped, too. It sat in the radiator and sang frantically all night.
ARGH. Maddening.
But, as I had headphones on half the night, I'm not unduly traumatized.

Oh, duh. I was just trying to figure out how to get Windows Filesharing to work on the laptop again, so I could get my files off it, and then I remembered... there's a USB Zip drive floating around. That'll work on both of them. Sheez.
Sigh. OK. Later, then, y'alls.

(no subject)

i'm supposed to be getting ready to leave now. i was going to leave by 10. but, as i'm still mostly naked and my stuff is everywhere, i think i'll be leaving by 11 if i'm lucky. 11:30 at the latest, i hope.
but first, i must revel in the joy of dsl. one last time, before i leave it.
*sighhhh*
The apartment's kinda messy, so i'm going to try and tidy it as i pack. Still, upon reflection, it's totally different than when i got here. much cleaner, and tidier, and more comfortable, and commodiously arranged.
i'm going to bring some junk with me to dispose of at home (first to see if any parts can be salvaged) (anybody want a tv that doesn't work? i'm sure the problem is something simple... if anybody likes that kind of stuff, lemme know... otherwise, i might see if annie can help me take it apart and make an aquarium out of it or something...) so it'll be even less crowded once i leave.
*sigh* I don't really want to go. I'm starting to really feel at home here. It's still not my apartment. But I wish, I wish, I wish I could get a job so I could live here with Zobar and pay half his rent and make proper arrangements for the groceries and divide the household tasks and the whole schtick. I wish I could feel that this really was my home, and really have a life. I'd like a schedule too...
ah well. This month will be insane, I predict, but not in a terribly productive way. Still and all... it should be good. I hope.

D'oh, it's officially November and my car is due for inspection and I forgot to make an appointment for it today. Duh!!! I'll have to make the appointment when I get home. Maybe Monday...

(no subject)

sigh. made it home.
i've been displaced to somewhere on the second page in nanowrimo, as far as word count goes.

it's fifty-eight degrees in this room and i'm starving.
but soon there will be dinner. and after that, i'll get my computer and set it up in the living room.
yeah, that'd work pretty well...
it's warmer in there. like, 68, almost. that'd be cool.
brr. have no fingers. yow.
ok, i need to call some chick in albany about the job i have to do this weekend.

trip was ok. lotsa other drivers. i should learn to do these things in mid-week.
left the apartment fairly clean... but was really late leaving. really, really late.
ah well.
hope zobar finds it cozy when he gets home. i don't want him to be lonely.
not that he cares as much as i do, but i like to feel important so hush.
my frogs are probably cold, so i'd better go unload the car and get their big aquarium so they can have their light. brr, poor froggies.
they need a place to go... hmm... ah well. i'll think of something. Things need rearranging.
i don't fit into this place...
but it's nice to see my family again. i'd missed them.

(no subject)

yay!
back online!
with a modem.
sigh. so slow. *hiss* dial-up! *hisss* unclean.
so i was going through some old files and realized that about 2,000 of the words i wrote last night are useless. why? because i just found a year-old excerpt that i wrote a year ago, of about 5,000 words, that has identical concepts in it, and achieves the same purpose, only... better. it's more vivid, less contrived, and has more detail.
sigh.
oh well. i suppose i can swap them. that would be fair, wouldn't it? sure. i have to edit it anyway, since i've changed most of the major details of the story. but as a prologue, it's awesome.
sigh. why am i a twit? i dunno, i just am.

(no subject)

i can't even remember
if we were lovers
or if i just wanted to....
but i held her in my arms
i held her in my arms
i held her in my arms or was it you?

my setup:
my parents' living room.
monitor on coffee table in corner. sitting sideways in armchair to see monitor, keyboard propped on legs. one leg propped against chair arm, other extended to rest on computer tower. headphones connected to stereo, cd i burned with iTunes this morning playing on shuffle. hot tea, an afghan. mouse perched precariously on chair arm. Frogs sitting next to coffee table in their travel jar, looking doleful. but it's too cold anywhere else in the house for them.
it'll be damn cold in my room. i don't even know if there's room for me. i might just go tumble into fiona's bed for tonight. it'll be a short night. i plan on writing for nanowrimo until 3ish, and getting up around 9 or so to call that penny girl about the flyers we have to put up in various places.

ah, now i'm on to the Susan Tedeschi Band-- Ain't Nobody's Business.
this is the second cd I burned in honor of NaNoWriMo. The first was songs that I thought related to the story. This second one was just songs I found that seemed melancholic and blue enough-- a sort of dark wistful sadness or grunginess that suits my general mood on the piece...

( nanowrimo tunes )

is it just me or am i getting more and more scattered and inconsistent? I used to be able to write and edit one lj entry for like an hour at a time and make it perfect and beautifully crafted and all. it would at least make sense. now i don't really anymore. ADD? or what?
mebbe it's brain rust.
yeah, probably brain rust.

i think i'll be home alone tomorrow. mom and ann are gonna go check out cornell university, and dad, as he put it, will have a busy day "guarding the nation" at national guard. (he snorted in a very sarcastic manner after saying it. methinks the old man is growing cynical. he turned 58 two days ago...)


right, i should be writing.