May. 18th, 2002

dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (violet)
i've bitten off every one of my nails.

but i wrote something.

don't know yet if i like it.

random musings and plannings and natterings )
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
so i was out and about with darius this morning, scanning photos at his office and such. (nice film scanner there. though i'm starting to associate his office with me being in pain; last time i had hurt my knee in practice, though i didn't think it was bad, and over the several hours we spent there it just got worse and worse; today i started with mild cramps, you know those happen sometimes, girly stuff, and they just got worse and worse until i could barely walk, and was curled motionless in the chair waiting for the pain to subside, as it periodically did, so that i could wheel myself a little closer to wherever it was that i wanted to go.)
got back like 3:30, farting about trying to get the goddamn TV to work, finally sat down to watch the hockey game (detroit vs. colorado-- detroit won 5-3, annoyingly enough). some guy shows up and starts mowing our vastly overgrown lawn. now, in the lease, it says that we should mow the lawn. however, it also says that a lawnmower will be provided. the lawnmower hasn't been where it was supposed to be in seven months now, so we figured the deal was off. i'm not gonna go FIND a lawnmower to mow this damn lawn.
anyhow, the guy mowing the lawn was the property manager, who did the same thing last year when the mower went missing at the end of the summer. i recognized him, and figured uh, ok. hey, he's getting paid to do it, have fun. he mowed off a piece of my fucking forsythia bush last year, but i have it staked out with broken fencing blades now, so it's safe-- i think. anyhow, he can't damage anything, though i was gonna ask him what we should do with all the garbage that's blown onto the lawn, including an entire fucking store awning that won't fit in the garbage...
but i forget, and he leaves, and i forget about it.
around 4:30 lyons comes in and looks at me and says 'did you know the back windshield of your car is shattered?'
sure enough, it is. there's a hole right through, and the entire thing is in 8th-inch cubes. held together, still in the window but obviously impacted in one place, in the center, with a small object at very high velocity.
such as a stone, projected by a lawnmower blade on a pass of the lawnmower across the driveway.

totally shattered, as in if i pushed it with my hand, it would fall right out of the frame.

...


...


for fuck's sake, is there no fucking end??????
he didn't say one goddamn word to any of us. did he not NOTICE that he'd shattered my window?
or did some lunatic run by and fire a b.b. gun at my window?
i mean... you don't just walk by, kick a rock, and have that happen.
and it wasn't broken when i got home at 3:30.

AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (violet)
could i make fumori a sympathetic character?
i'm afraid he really is a monster.
but could you find a man who kills innocent people simply because he must sympathetic? it's really not his fault; he's forced to do it.

i'd like to write more about him but it always gets too dark... and when things get too dark my characters start feeling sorry for themselves.

ah well. just wondering. it could be a challenge, if i could only focus on it a little...
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
Kat (9:38:43 PM): excited?
me (9:40:25 PM): having a really shitty day, actually.
me (9:40:42 PM): i came out into the driveway and the rear windshield of my van has been shattered.
me (9:40:46 PM): i have no idea how.
me (9:40:50 PM): so things are fucking awesome, thanks.
Kat (9:41:41 PM): :-(
me (9:41:58 PM): also, what the hell have i got to look forward to? I'm graduating so I can come home and be unemployed and live in my parents' garage. I'll be excited once having earned my BA gets me a god damn job. As it is I have $25,000 in debt and can't even buy myself a beer to celebrate, because I am flat broke and bumming off my parents.
me (9:42:11 PM): So no, I'm not really excited about all this yet. Maybe some other time.
me (9:42:29 PM): sorry to grump at you, but no, i'm not excited.
Kat (9:42:45 PM): :-(
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
these cramps need to stop now.

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dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
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