![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7I forgot my knee braces today. I went to work and just plain forgot them.
It was a long day. SCW wasn't there, so I was working with some random junior person who was really... ehhh, I won't even get into it, save to say that you really just get used to working with someone, and you start to take for granted things like, say, that other person knowing where to put things so the next person can find them, and, say, you know, doing a load of dishes now and then. You know. The usual.
My knees were moderately sore by the end of the day, and my back quite sore. And I won't get into the various irritations, but I didn't get home until very late.
So I went with Z to the Pizza Plant and we ate pizza pods and drank random fancy beer. And I had to wait until then to have one of my ginormous ibuprofins, as I have to take them with food.
I am still a little sore.
I am also way way more depressed and annoyed than I should've been at having been reprimanded for being overweight. I'd just, I don't know-- I spent my teenage years convinced I was fat, and looking back, I wasn't, but now that I feel OK with my shape, I'm told I'm fat, and need to exercise more, even though I spend about 45 hours a week on my feet and sweating. I just don't know what else to do. I don't comfort eat-- I eat when I'm hungry. I hate the penny-pinching feeling of counting calories. I don't want that badly to be a different size.
My problem is that I just can't convince myself that I need to lose weight.
I looked it up and according to the collective wisdom of the Internet, given that I am 5' 7", 27, and female, I should weigh between 120 and 165 pounds. (Different calculators give different results.)
But where do you put in how muscular or not you are? Where do you specify your frame size? Where do you explain that you have approximately twenty pounds of boobs? [Yes, I've measured that, although not recently.] Does that matter at all? I have 20" thighs just above the knee, but there is nothing I can pinch that's fat. I have 17" calves. And while my waist size has steadily decreased over the last four or so years, my overbust measurement has remained steadfastly identical, which means that as I go down in band sizes in my bra, the cup sizes go up and up because the boobs aren't getting any smaller.
Should I really try to lose twenty pounds? (I could do it in a matter of hours, with a double mastectomy, but I'd really rather die, thanks.)
Can you imagine what I'd look like at 120 pounds????
Ugh, I'd rather not. No offense to y'all skinny peoples, but I would be icky at that size...
Bah. I am too sleepy and depressed to consider this any further.
And, for the record, 400 mg of ibuprofin, which is the prescription stuff I got today, and all I have to show for all that doctorifficness... 400 mg of ibuprofin, begging your pardon, doesn't do jack-shit.
It was a long day. SCW wasn't there, so I was working with some random junior person who was really... ehhh, I won't even get into it, save to say that you really just get used to working with someone, and you start to take for granted things like, say, that other person knowing where to put things so the next person can find them, and, say, you know, doing a load of dishes now and then. You know. The usual.
My knees were moderately sore by the end of the day, and my back quite sore. And I won't get into the various irritations, but I didn't get home until very late.
So I went with Z to the Pizza Plant and we ate pizza pods and drank random fancy beer. And I had to wait until then to have one of my ginormous ibuprofins, as I have to take them with food.
I am still a little sore.
I am also way way more depressed and annoyed than I should've been at having been reprimanded for being overweight. I'd just, I don't know-- I spent my teenage years convinced I was fat, and looking back, I wasn't, but now that I feel OK with my shape, I'm told I'm fat, and need to exercise more, even though I spend about 45 hours a week on my feet and sweating. I just don't know what else to do. I don't comfort eat-- I eat when I'm hungry. I hate the penny-pinching feeling of counting calories. I don't want that badly to be a different size.
My problem is that I just can't convince myself that I need to lose weight.
I looked it up and according to the collective wisdom of the Internet, given that I am 5' 7", 27, and female, I should weigh between 120 and 165 pounds. (Different calculators give different results.)
But where do you put in how muscular or not you are? Where do you specify your frame size? Where do you explain that you have approximately twenty pounds of boobs? [Yes, I've measured that, although not recently.] Does that matter at all? I have 20" thighs just above the knee, but there is nothing I can pinch that's fat. I have 17" calves. And while my waist size has steadily decreased over the last four or so years, my overbust measurement has remained steadfastly identical, which means that as I go down in band sizes in my bra, the cup sizes go up and up because the boobs aren't getting any smaller.
Should I really try to lose twenty pounds? (I could do it in a matter of hours, with a double mastectomy, but I'd really rather die, thanks.)
Can you imagine what I'd look like at 120 pounds????
Ugh, I'd rather not. No offense to y'all skinny peoples, but I would be icky at that size...
Bah. I am too sleepy and depressed to consider this any further.
And, for the record, 400 mg of ibuprofin, which is the prescription stuff I got today, and all I have to show for all that doctorifficness... 400 mg of ibuprofin, begging your pardon, doesn't do jack-shit.
