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Oct. 17th, 2011 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7I'm feeling needy, lately. Been going through a phase where I text nonstop with K, but he's slowing down a bit and I wind up realizing I've just sent him like six texts that he hasn't responded to. But I don't have Internet at work, so I have nothing to distract myself with, really. So I text everyone I can think of, intermittently, and hang around staring at my phone waiting for someone to respond. It's not a particularly productive habit to be in, but work has been too slow to adequately distract me, but too busy to do anything more ambitious. So there's that.
My mood is very changeable too, with a half day of feeling invincibly competent interrupted by irrational, fed-up rage then capped off with a sunken feeling of total inadequacy. I'm blaming the season change.
My breathing's also still not good, regardless of the steroids. I thought I must be developing a chest infection and that's what caused what I thought was an asthma attack, but it hasn't materialized so far. Which is good and bad, in that I don't want a chest infection, but I also don't want this to just be plain old chronic suddenly-bad-again-forever asthma. Since I can't afford the medication, and all. :/
I bought myself too many socks from Sockdreams again. Among them were some thigh-highs that go really, really thigh-high on me, which is truly something; just above the knee, my thighs are 19", and they rapidly increase to about 25" where thigh-highs usually sit, and go up to 27" right by the tops. Few things actually go up and stay up on me. These do.
I do feel better, having them; they served the purpose of cheering me up. I spent the evening putting them on and taking pictures of myself in them with my phone in a mirror. I tell myself I'm doing this on purpose, not ignoring my camera because the logistics are too difficult; I'm deliberately evoking the aesthetic of cheap webcam porn. Sure. The pics came out somewhat racy or I'd post some. I texted them to Z intermittently, which finally succeeded in luring him into the same room as me. We broke down and turned the heat on, but spending the evening staring at our computers from under the duvet is probably the coziest pastime we could imagine.
I'm trying to think of a project to bring to work that I can pick up and put down and not think about that will keep me from incessantly texting poor K with a constant barrage of random brain droppings.
(He still responds more than Z does, evidently because he's a bit more bored at work than poor Z.)
My mood is very changeable too, with a half day of feeling invincibly competent interrupted by irrational, fed-up rage then capped off with a sunken feeling of total inadequacy. I'm blaming the season change.
My breathing's also still not good, regardless of the steroids. I thought I must be developing a chest infection and that's what caused what I thought was an asthma attack, but it hasn't materialized so far. Which is good and bad, in that I don't want a chest infection, but I also don't want this to just be plain old chronic suddenly-bad-again-forever asthma. Since I can't afford the medication, and all. :/
I bought myself too many socks from Sockdreams again. Among them were some thigh-highs that go really, really thigh-high on me, which is truly something; just above the knee, my thighs are 19", and they rapidly increase to about 25" where thigh-highs usually sit, and go up to 27" right by the tops. Few things actually go up and stay up on me. These do.
I do feel better, having them; they served the purpose of cheering me up. I spent the evening putting them on and taking pictures of myself in them with my phone in a mirror. I tell myself I'm doing this on purpose, not ignoring my camera because the logistics are too difficult; I'm deliberately evoking the aesthetic of cheap webcam porn. Sure. The pics came out somewhat racy or I'd post some. I texted them to Z intermittently, which finally succeeded in luring him into the same room as me. We broke down and turned the heat on, but spending the evening staring at our computers from under the duvet is probably the coziest pastime we could imagine.
I'm trying to think of a project to bring to work that I can pick up and put down and not think about that will keep me from incessantly texting poor K with a constant barrage of random brain droppings.
(He still responds more than Z does, evidently because he's a bit more bored at work than poor Z.)
