dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
dragonlady7 ([personal profile] dragonlady7) wrote2019-03-05 02:59 am
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tmi sex life but funny, right

via https://ift.tt/2Cf3yZp

how????

can a dude???

who has been in a sexual relationship with a specific woman???

for seventeen years????

and over the course of those seventeen years has been present, and like, contributing, as she has developed the ability to be multiorgasmic???

not know??

about multiple orgasms???

…

what has he thought was going on this entire time??? 

…

over dinner he made an innuendo and waggled his eyebrows, something very cheesy and goofy about “all night long” and I was like lol i mean if you’re offering and he laughed and was like “nobody can really go all night though!’ and i was like “buddy try me” and he was like “ok so i know a man can’t actually infinitely fuck but neither can a woman right???” and I was like “can’t I?” and he was like “… can you?” and i was like “uh”

i mean the answer is not “infinitely” but it is definitely a lot longer than five to seven minutes, i just don’t see the need to be greedy about it. 

but really! what has he thought i was doing this whole time?? 

(whisperspace tags to follow, screenshotted and deleted because they never work properly as tags, lol)
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toujours_nigel: Greek, red-figure Rhea (Default)

[personal profile] toujours_nigel 2019-03-05 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
yes! when do you stop is an actual problem and the answer (for me) is when your hand hurts or you get bored.
Edited 2019-03-05 03:57 (UTC)
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)

[personal profile] dragonlady7 2019-03-08 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL I meant to reply to this comment and then it snuck through the cracks, but like-- solidarity.
I just thought this was such a universal experience among people who have relations with women-type-people , you know? and I guess I just have never been demanding enough that he noticed? I don't know! It's not like I go easy on him. LOL. But I figured there was at least like, minimal awareness of this sort of thing among dudes, and yet.
toujours_nigel: Greek, red-figure Rhea (Default)

[personal profile] toujours_nigel 2019-03-08 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, there's a gap between multiple and infinite where Dude seems to have failed to make the jump, *g*
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)

[personal profile] dragonlady7 2019-03-08 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm thinking he's not even fully understanding the "multiple" part. I'm not sure what he thinks is going on! In his defense it can be sort of subtle. And I can waver pretty wildly all the way back to the "none" stage I have spent various stages of my life in, to be fair, so. You'd think that would really underscore the "there is no concrete endpoint" theme, but I guess he'd just sort of lazily assumed that everyone has the same thing he does, where you're into it and then you're SUPER into it and then you're completely done. He was completely unable to even conceptualize a different worldview around that, and it was pretty funny.
toujours_nigel: Greek, red-figure Rhea (Default)

[personal profile] toujours_nigel 2019-03-08 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
oh.
oh dear.
that is a pretty hilarious failure in comprehension.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)

[personal profile] dragonlady7 2019-03-08 04:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Right??

I mean. he's doing fine! It's all fine and great! he does a great job! i had actually been musing on how well he has learned to read my responses and body language, in sheer self-defense really because i am exceptionally bad at using my words! but! he just actually understands a lot less of what's going on than I had actually thought he did!

the stereotype is that these things speak for themselves and the reality is that absolutely they do not.
toujours_nigel: Greek, red-figure Rhea (Default)

[personal profile] toujours_nigel 2019-03-08 05:03 pm (UTC)(link)
the stereotype is that these things speak for themselves and the reality is that absolutely they do not.

Hear, hear! SO & I are both women and we not only took two-ish years to settle into predictability, we still have to regularly go, "yeah, hon, maybe don't do that rn" another six odd years later.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)

[personal profile] dragonlady7 2019-03-08 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, and I'm like. Super bad at saying whether I like things or not. So it's *definitely* extreme high difficulty mode.

There's so much individual variation in that stuff, even being a woman doesn't give you that big a leg up on knowing what another woman is going to like. But it's a little bit of a hint, maybe, LOL.
toujours_nigel: Greek, red-figure Rhea (Default)

[personal profile] toujours_nigel 2019-03-08 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
*g*

[personal profile] sugarandlime 2019-03-06 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
what has he thought was going on this entire time???

this entire thing is so funny to me. I'm sorry, but also giggling. Like, his obliviousness is on such a whole other level that I can't even be mad about it??

Dear Dude: WHAT.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)

[personal profile] dragonlady7 2019-03-07 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean. To be fair, some of those things can be fairly subtle. It's hard to know precisely what's going on.
But still.

It goes to show you that you just don't know what someone else is experiencing even if you're experiencing it with them!!!
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