dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
2019-09-24 01:22 pm

ughh

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i got a lot of Anxieties today, and they kept me up last night, and i don’t know what the deal is! i hate that.

shoutouts to my peeps with Anxieties all the time, you have my complete sympathy, I don’t get this very much but it fucking sucks.

IDK if it’s worse when there’s some kind of reason. I don’t have any kind of reason at all and it’s freaking me the fuck out. Gross! Super gross. Ugh. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
2015-12-18 02:13 am

ugh i got a nonspecific creeping dread. like i did something wrong, or said something horrible to...

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ugh i got a nonspecific creeping dread. like i did something wrong, or said something horrible to somebody, or maybe i got in a fight today with someone i care about. 

only I didn’t, there’s nothing particularly wrong, and I haven’t had any fallings-out with anyone that I can recall?

so like– ugh? Fuckin’ Anxieties. I am so done with you, anxieties. 

I been holding off the Mental Badnesses with various combos of holistic medicine shit and like self-care and like relentless giving-no-fucks after I lack-of-executive-functioned my way cold turkey off SSRIs last spring (PSA: DON’T DO THAT), but it might be finally getting to me. This is most inconvenient, I really don’t have time for this. 

Especially since the only actual thing I really *do* have to dread is the fact that my application for health insurance keeps alternately erroring out and sending me updates that I need to update a thing that I then go to do and it errors out? So I don’t have health insurance and apparently can’t get it? So it’s not like I *could* go back onto meds for this. Fuuuuuck.

A friend posted on Facebook about depression and was immediately told to try yoga. I did not commit murder. That’s about the only upside to a critical lack of serotonin; there’s no way I could collect enough executive function to actually commit a maiming.