murder privileges

[dragonlady7]

via https://ift.tt/3ywgLs8

We were driving out in the city the other night, on a road that had a bike lane, and as we came up on an intersection a wobbly bicyclist rounded the corner and swerved out of his lane slightly into ours. He corrected, and it was never a real danger, but Dude, who was driving, complained, to me, “Bike man, stay in your lane.”

“Because if we hit you,” I said, “you die, and then we go to jail for murder.”

“Jail for*ever*,” Dude complained, “and like, I mean–”

“If I’m gonna go to jail for murder,” I said, agreeing with what I knew he was goign to say, “I want it to be for someone I damn well meant to murder.”

“You’re not even on my list, buddy,” Dude said to the now long-behind-us bicyclist.

“You can’t cut the line like that,” I said. “I’m going down it’s going to be for someone who really deserved it.”

“Getting murdered by me is a rare privilege,” Dude filled in.

“IT IS AN HONOR TO DIE BY MY BLADE,” I bellowed, as we paused at a stop sign. A woman at the crosswalk looked briefly alarmed, and then we drove on. (Your picture was not posted)