anachronic-cobra:Literally every single one of these hit

[dragonlady7]

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anachronic-cobra:

Literally every single one of these hit me other than 18, I haven’t notice anything connecting to that one. Or 7 unless requiring things to be ordered by color or size or I can’t focus on anything until I’ve organized them counts.

I didn’t even realize I was doing 9 until stores were mentioned, I can’t go to stores that are usually busy until past 8pm.

umbrellanumber5:

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Did you just scroll down thinking yes?

So this all describes my BFF to a tee. There might be one or two that aren’t true, but literally all of the rest are things she’s said to me over the uh twenty years we’ve known each other. 

Would it be helpful of me to send her this? I don’t know what to do. She’s having a terrible time in her life at the moment and I think a lot of it is that she really does have… there’s not a better phrase for it, special needs, her needs are special, and so they aren’t being met, and solutions other people suggest don’t make sense to her because she doesn’t think the way other people do, and I’ve been tearing my hair out for almost ten years now trying to figure out things that could help her, but I think most of this list is true for her.

I don’t know how to bring it up, though; she’s very preoccupied with being “normal” and fitting in and I think she’d be horribly offended at the suggestion. But I also think it could be an avenue toward her finding more productive solutions for her problems rather than trying to reinvent the wheel. Even knowing something to begin to say to a therapist; she had an awful one that told her that her terrible depression was totally warranted by her situation and so there was nothing he could do for her and she should just go home. Even terms to know to use to look for a therapist!! IDK. IDK! 

Anyway. I don’t know what to do but I’m reblogging this to find it later. 

Comments

[unicornduke]

This list is an A+ autistic experience and I do most of those but didn't know I was autistic until after I graduated college. Basically, all the (self) diagnoses allowed me to do was find coping mechanisms that worked to mitigate these things when in the past, I just dealt with it as a "normal person" and had many more meltdowns and less energy. Now I wear noise cancelling headphones to the grocery store that keeps me from having a panic attack, etc.

[dragonlady7]

Her problem is, I think, that a lot of her coping mechanisms were working perfectly but her children won't respect them. What kid is going to not touch you? What kid is going to give you ten hours of alone time in which to sleep undisturbed and not speak to anyone?

Basically, she has made every single life choice that guarantees her needs will never be met again, but maybe actually being able to systematically articulate those needs and also find out what other solutions people have come up with would help? Like, obviously other autistic people have been parents in the entire history of the world, there must be something people do.

IDK though. IDK how to bring it up.

[unicornduke]

Yeah, that requires thinking about stuff before hand and ugh. idek. I know there are some autistic parents out there because I've read some things they've written but I'd have to go dig them out of the internet.

[dragonlady7]

I'm seeing her this weekend-- we're self-soothing with Crafts, and cinnamon buns-- so maybe I'll just try to bring it up in conversation.
I bet she's thought of it before, she's an engineer, and went to an engineering school.
A lot of her parenting issues are, I think, really from her own miserable childhood, wherein people were just awful to her because she was Different, and if she could find a counselor who was used to that and would be able to give her better advice on how to deal with that so she can give her own children a better start... IDK! It's a lot.

[unicornduke]

Oof, that is a lot! But I guess no better time than now. Maybe. Have fun with the Crafts!