Man, I'm the worst at dating. It always feels like a job interview for a position I'm not sure I even want. I feel like we need to go back to mail order spouses. Like, I'd be the grouchy, taciturn farmer in the Old West putting an ad in the newspaper for a comely Eastern fella who comes out West (fleeing a tragic past because why the hell else would you do this) and we fall in Lurve.

. . . I may have read one too many romance novels/fics with this exact storyline.