(no subject)

[dragonlady7]

this looks hilarious and whumpy, fic rec, the witcher

via https://ift.tt/2Oivb6V

kuwdora https://kuwdora.tumblr.com/post/713231415327801344/coin-operated-boy-kuwdora-the-witcher-tv :

Coin Operated Boy - kuwdora - The Witcher (TV) [Archive of Our Own] https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/46015531

Coin Operated Boy https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/46015531 (5582 words) by kuwdora https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwdora Chapters: ¼ Fandom: The Witcher (TV) https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/tags/The%20Witcher%20(TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Wied%C5%BAmin%20%7C%20The%20Witcher%20-%20All%20Media%20Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion & Original Female Character(s), Jaskier | Dandelion & Original Male Character(s), Jaskier | Dandelion & Shani Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Shani (The Witcher), Sigismund Dijkstra, Philippa Eilhart, Original Female Character, Original Male Characters Additional Tags: Jaskier gets turned into a puppet, Crack Treated Seriously, Body Horror, body humor, Hurt/Comfort, blending Netflix and book canon because I can, and adding worldbuilding because I want to, Oxenfurt (The Witcher), References to Canon-Typical Violence, Fantasy Racism, Implied Child Abuse, Church of the Eternal Fire (The Witcher), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jaskier has a puppet hole and really short legs, this is serious and silly, ridiculous and whumpy, all hands on deck for the fisting jokes, which i’m not sorry about, Puns and Wordplay, Jaskier’s Oxenfurt Friendships, and his academic frenemies, Plot With Puppet but no Porn (much to Jaskier’s dismay), he would prefer porn without plot as a puppet

“It was a sorceress. She was taking me too seriously,” Jaskier said.

“Formally trained or a home-brewed witch?” Mortimer asked, taking notes.

“I didn’t play 20 fucking questions with her. We were in a meeting. I said something about how she was as much of a puppet as I was to Redania. She gave me that beguiling sorceress sneer—do you think they had an etiquette class for that?—and she wished me a good performance. The next thing I know, I wake up with four fingers, a soft puppet cock, and my face is made of wood. I don’t have any fucking bones,” Jaskier snapped.

“I see,” Mortimer said. (Your picture was not posted)