dragonlady7 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dragonlady7) wrote2020-07-03 07:27 pm
dragonlady7) wrote2020-07-03 07:27 pm
oh apparently i can reply to replies again
via https://ift.tt/3irSo6T
nogling replied to your post “squid on the mantelpiece”
I see your ridiculously overwrought tenderness between the Hero and the damsel, and raise you the idea of a genre of Ye Olde Trashy Romance dedicated to Witchers and their terrible, brutal lusts (and secret hearts of gold) a la Every Terrible Viking Romance Ever. The most read steamy bit is the one where the damsel/lordling/battle bro has realized mid-coitus that they are madly in love with this (brutish, misunderstood) Witcher.
Oh man. IDK. I love this idea but I also sort of can’t buy that anyone would really write a trashy romance novel with a sympathetic portrayal of a Witcher in it. Have you read the Murderbot books? I feel like it’s kind of like how there’s never any media where SecUnits are anything like accurately or sympathetically portrayed, and like, Murderbot and ART have an ongoing thing where ART loves watching serials about things that are similar to its life as a spacegoing ship (but not too realistic– wildly fantastic is best) and Murderbot would rather not watch anything containing any kind of portrayal of anything that’s germane to its life experiences because it’s never handled with any kind of nuance and nobody’s got good fantasies about that shit.
I suppose, though, there’d be cause for a Witcher to get romanticized a time or two, they do get around and sometimes kind of get to be heroes and over [edited to add] oh I forgot to finish this sentence. Well. Like. I suppose over time somebody’d have a sympathetic enough regime that there’d be a Witcher romance novel or two. I wonder, maybe they’re tropes in other kinds of romances. Never very accurate but possibly entertaining, you may be onto something here.
2nico replied to your post“ more brainstorming about Geralt’s Formative Porn Experiences”
also i’m now into the general idea that kaer morhen had one terrible bodice-ripper harlequin witcher novel that was totally niche in the real world but absolutely became its own in-house meme amongst generations of witchers because they found it hilarious like. references to lines and scenes and stuff will send a whole group of witchers howling in laughter with no context for an outsider. like its own diction-level in house meme and shit
“geralt why did you wrestle lambert for calling you "such a lady du astre” geralt: you… wouldn’t understand
it’s “the room” for witchers basically
picture a hall full of witchers and one bystander. they’re all chilling. dead silence. suddenly from the back a single voice rises and says, with great solemnity, “but why a *horse*?” the uproarious laughter shakes the windows. the bystander is at sea.
Since I don’t know what “the room” is, I also am at sea, but I love this concept. (Ohhhh the Tommy Wiseau joint. Yeah yeah, I’m vibing now.)
I mean, they’d have memes about all kinds of stuff, for sure. I had a coworker a while ago, who had this annoying verbal tic of prefacing almost every statement with a high, nasal “well,” before he proceeded to waste everyone’s time for like, an hour, with a long prevaricating thing that he refused to wrap up into any kind of conclusion. For ten years now, six since he left, I have been able to immediately make anything I say hilarious to my remaining coworker by waiting a beat after he speaks, and then saying “Well” in that exact tone of voice before I begin my reply.
So there was definitely a Witcher instructor who would make this “harrumph”ing noise and occasionally Eskel will just make the noise and the others will have like, Pavlovian responses about it and it’s worn a little thin now but for a while there he could really get people going.
But yes. Definitely there is Some Awful Novel that literally everyone read. Probably it has some extremely improbable sex in it and the older ones would try to get the younger ones to believe sex really works that way, and part of the fascination was that there was something somehow still compelling in the dirty bits, somewhere, and yet, nobody was going to actually admit to actually getting off thinking about it because it’s so poorly written, and yeah– but oh that book doesn’t live on Geralt’s bookshelf, it was kept in a particular spot somewhere semi-hidden, like in high school how out back near the cross-country trail there was this tree that they kept a bong in and it was a rite of passage to go out and use the bong (I stole that from a friend, I did not go to that school) (that tree is gone now because they tore out the cross-country trails to build a new parking lot) (listen I am in a fugue state from these cramps so this is the most coherent I can be)
So like. Somewhere near the stables there’s a passageway with a secret niche and this terrible book is kept in there along with some, idk, drug paraphernalia probably, and for a solid half-century the young Witchers would fish out this book and do dramatic readings to one another and it would go missing for a week here and there while various of the boys read it, but it always got put back in that chink in the wall, and probably after the pogrom somebody, maybe Lambert, pulled it out of there and it’s in a box in his room now and he’s reread it a few times and maybe Geralt had mostly forgotten but Lambert’s keeping the meme alive and Geralt can’t help but finish the sentence if Lambert starts it…
nogling replied to your post “squid on the mantelpiece”
I see your ridiculously overwrought tenderness between the Hero and the damsel, and raise you the idea of a genre of Ye Olde Trashy Romance dedicated to Witchers and their terrible, brutal lusts (and secret hearts of gold) a la Every Terrible Viking Romance Ever. The most read steamy bit is the one where the damsel/lordling/battle bro has realized mid-coitus that they are madly in love with this (brutish, misunderstood) Witcher.
Oh man. IDK. I love this idea but I also sort of can’t buy that anyone would really write a trashy romance novel with a sympathetic portrayal of a Witcher in it. Have you read the Murderbot books? I feel like it’s kind of like how there’s never any media where SecUnits are anything like accurately or sympathetically portrayed, and like, Murderbot and ART have an ongoing thing where ART loves watching serials about things that are similar to its life as a spacegoing ship (but not too realistic– wildly fantastic is best) and Murderbot would rather not watch anything containing any kind of portrayal of anything that’s germane to its life experiences because it’s never handled with any kind of nuance and nobody’s got good fantasies about that shit.
I suppose, though, there’d be cause for a Witcher to get romanticized a time or two, they do get around and sometimes kind of get to be heroes and over [edited to add] oh I forgot to finish this sentence. Well. Like. I suppose over time somebody’d have a sympathetic enough regime that there’d be a Witcher romance novel or two. I wonder, maybe they’re tropes in other kinds of romances. Never very accurate but possibly entertaining, you may be onto something here.
2nico replied to your post“ more brainstorming about Geralt’s Formative Porn Experiences”
also i’m now into the general idea that kaer morhen had one terrible bodice-ripper harlequin witcher novel that was totally niche in the real world but absolutely became its own in-house meme amongst generations of witchers because they found it hilarious like. references to lines and scenes and stuff will send a whole group of witchers howling in laughter with no context for an outsider. like its own diction-level in house meme and shit
“geralt why did you wrestle lambert for calling you "such a lady du astre” geralt: you… wouldn’t understand
it’s “the room” for witchers basically
picture a hall full of witchers and one bystander. they’re all chilling. dead silence. suddenly from the back a single voice rises and says, with great solemnity, “but why a *horse*?” the uproarious laughter shakes the windows. the bystander is at sea.
Since I don’t know what “the room” is, I also am at sea, but I love this concept. (Ohhhh the Tommy Wiseau joint. Yeah yeah, I’m vibing now.)
I mean, they’d have memes about all kinds of stuff, for sure. I had a coworker a while ago, who had this annoying verbal tic of prefacing almost every statement with a high, nasal “well,” before he proceeded to waste everyone’s time for like, an hour, with a long prevaricating thing that he refused to wrap up into any kind of conclusion. For ten years now, six since he left, I have been able to immediately make anything I say hilarious to my remaining coworker by waiting a beat after he speaks, and then saying “Well” in that exact tone of voice before I begin my reply.
So there was definitely a Witcher instructor who would make this “harrumph”ing noise and occasionally Eskel will just make the noise and the others will have like, Pavlovian responses about it and it’s worn a little thin now but for a while there he could really get people going.
But yes. Definitely there is Some Awful Novel that literally everyone read. Probably it has some extremely improbable sex in it and the older ones would try to get the younger ones to believe sex really works that way, and part of the fascination was that there was something somehow still compelling in the dirty bits, somewhere, and yet, nobody was going to actually admit to actually getting off thinking about it because it’s so poorly written, and yeah– but oh that book doesn’t live on Geralt’s bookshelf, it was kept in a particular spot somewhere semi-hidden, like in high school how out back near the cross-country trail there was this tree that they kept a bong in and it was a rite of passage to go out and use the bong (I stole that from a friend, I did not go to that school) (that tree is gone now because they tore out the cross-country trails to build a new parking lot) (listen I am in a fugue state from these cramps so this is the most coherent I can be)
So like. Somewhere near the stables there’s a passageway with a secret niche and this terrible book is kept in there along with some, idk, drug paraphernalia probably, and for a solid half-century the young Witchers would fish out this book and do dramatic readings to one another and it would go missing for a week here and there while various of the boys read it, but it always got put back in that chink in the wall, and probably after the pogrom somebody, maybe Lambert, pulled it out of there and it’s in a box in his room now and he’s reread it a few times and maybe Geralt had mostly forgotten but Lambert’s keeping the meme alive and Geralt can’t help but finish the sentence if Lambert starts it…