dragonlady7 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dragonlady7) wrote2020-07-03 12:27 pm
dragonlady7) wrote2020-07-03 12:27 pm
more brainstorming about Geralt’s Formative Porn
via https://ift.tt/3f9qVFb
I’ve been enjoying people’s responses to the question last night about what should be in the lurid romance novel on Geralt’s shelf, on the page it falls open to. The reply-to-replies thing only semi-works currently and I’m tired of what merry hell it plays with my crossposter so I’m just going to list salient points for compactness.
mikkeneko sent an ask with a suggestion for an extremely This Author Doesn’t Know How Dryads Work sex scene, hilarious both for tropiness and some light bondage, and for how embarrassed a later, more knowledgeable Geralt would be.
2nico, whom Tumblr won’t let me tag, who OMG I love your Lambert stories and I’m stealing the idea that he’s a genius at pickling things that is so good, votes for something courtly and overwrought with incredibly flowery language and also tournaments.
astroloquacious who Tumblr also won’t let me tag (am I misspelling these or something) (ok suddenly I don’t know how who/whom works, I need coffee) suggests High Courtly Romance, a knight freed from fears of abuse of power to finally be able to consummate his love with a maiden he had rescued, OR maybe two buddies having survived a battle together tenderly consummating their love under the stars, OR maybe a lady knight coming home to her lord, but the overarching point of all of them being that it’s all super tender and lovey-dovey. AND that Geralt’s biggest fantasy is being accepted and not being abandoned holy shit why would you point that out 😭 you’re a monster.
I like all of these ideas and all of these things definitely, definitely are on that shelf.
The idea is growing on me that this visitor, this reader, is expecting it to be an explicit sex scene (or, as2nico so fantastically imagined, it’s the kind of explicit sex scene where you’ve got to really invest yourself in it to figure out what the fuck is actually supposed to be happening, and I actually laughed out loud like a crazy person just now as I imagined teenaged Geralt attempting to get his rocks off to, like, amidst the petals the nectar showeréd or some shit) and is astonished to discover that instead it’s, like, an emotional payout. Like, oh god, there was this one fic back in my [redacted earlier fandom] days, that was mostly a huge fluff A/U kidfic, and there was this one paragraph I would go to in like the fifteenth installment on the like ninth chapter, and it was just this moment of a, like, beloved/respected older character saying something the main character was horribly hurt by, and the MC concealing his reaction really super well but not quite well enough and the other character noticing and being like no oh my god that’s not what I meant, you’re not bad you are good and it would give me that actual feeling of pain in the chest like you get, you know, where you could maybe actually make yourself cry and have it actually work like, cathartically?
ah fuck that’s more embarrassing than showing someone your porn, I’m not linking to it because that’d be too much. But you know what I mean. A different kind of release, there. Listen sometimes crying works more reliably than orgasms for a hard personal reset.
IDK, it might be too much because I’ve already pointed out Geralt’s bulletproof praise kink. But is it??
Another hilarious plot twist would be to have the book fall open to a loving description of someone’s armor or something. Or, it turns out, Geralt wasn’t the book’s only owner, so the super-worn pages are from his dead idiot best friend Gweld who really really liked to read about feast descriptions so it’s like, Redwall-level feast scenes every time.
Sigh, maybe I need a bonus scene with all the various outtakes. Maybe Yennefer and Jaskier need a rainy afternoon to just comb through and find all the pages that are dog-eared so they can collate them, and then Lambert’s gotta point out that decades of adolescent Witchers read those books so you think you’re getting an express ticket to the inside of Geralt’s head but actually that’s like, several generations of wank fodder for a disturbing spectrum of abused kids actually, probably don’t try the [insert really hard/specific/unusual kink here] on Geralt because that was definitely, definitely somebody else’s book when those pages got stuck together and Geralt’s just too sentimental to throw it out. [And of course Lambert knows because he spent a lot of his formative years sneaking into Geralt’s room to browse his porn while the older Witcher wasn’t around, so he can tell you every book that was original to the collection and ok a lot of the wear on the pages is from him but he’s gonna leave that unsaid.]
(Vesemir’s like oh hey that [super-kinky] book was mine, how’d it get in here and everyone immediately Drops The Subject.)
I’ve been enjoying people’s responses to the question last night about what should be in the lurid romance novel on Geralt’s shelf, on the page it falls open to. The reply-to-replies thing only semi-works currently and I’m tired of what merry hell it plays with my crossposter so I’m just going to list salient points for compactness.
mikkeneko sent an ask with a suggestion for an extremely This Author Doesn’t Know How Dryads Work sex scene, hilarious both for tropiness and some light bondage, and for how embarrassed a later, more knowledgeable Geralt would be. 2nico, whom Tumblr won’t let me tag, who OMG I love your Lambert stories and I’m stealing the idea that he’s a genius at pickling things that is so good, votes for something courtly and overwrought with incredibly flowery language and also tournaments. astroloquacious who Tumblr also won’t let me tag (am I misspelling these or something) (ok suddenly I don’t know how who/whom works, I need coffee) suggests High Courtly Romance, a knight freed from fears of abuse of power to finally be able to consummate his love with a maiden he had rescued, OR maybe two buddies having survived a battle together tenderly consummating their love under the stars, OR maybe a lady knight coming home to her lord, but the overarching point of all of them being that it’s all super tender and lovey-dovey. AND that Geralt’s biggest fantasy is being accepted and not being abandoned holy shit why would you point that out 😭 you’re a monster. I like all of these ideas and all of these things definitely, definitely are on that shelf.
The idea is growing on me that this visitor, this reader, is expecting it to be an explicit sex scene (or, as
2nico so fantastically imagined, it’s the kind of explicit sex scene where you’ve got to really invest yourself in it to figure out what the fuck is actually supposed to be happening, and I actually laughed out loud like a crazy person just now as I imagined teenaged Geralt attempting to get his rocks off to, like, amidst the petals the nectar showeréd or some shit) and is astonished to discover that instead it’s, like, an emotional payout. Like, oh god, there was this one fic back in my [redacted earlier fandom] days, that was mostly a huge fluff A/U kidfic, and there was this one paragraph I would go to in like the fifteenth installment on the like ninth chapter, and it was just this moment of a, like, beloved/respected older character saying something the main character was horribly hurt by, and the MC concealing his reaction really super well but not quite well enough and the other character noticing and being like no oh my god that’s not what I meant, you’re not bad you are good and it would give me that actual feeling of pain in the chest like you get, you know, where you could maybe actually make yourself cry and have it actually work like, cathartically?ah fuck that’s more embarrassing than showing someone your porn, I’m not linking to it because that’d be too much. But you know what I mean. A different kind of release, there. Listen sometimes crying works more reliably than orgasms for a hard personal reset.
IDK, it might be too much because I’ve already pointed out Geralt’s bulletproof praise kink. But is it??
Another hilarious plot twist would be to have the book fall open to a loving description of someone’s armor or something. Or, it turns out, Geralt wasn’t the book’s only owner, so the super-worn pages are from his dead idiot best friend Gweld who really really liked to read about feast descriptions so it’s like, Redwall-level feast scenes every time.
Sigh, maybe I need a bonus scene with all the various outtakes. Maybe Yennefer and Jaskier need a rainy afternoon to just comb through and find all the pages that are dog-eared so they can collate them, and then Lambert’s gotta point out that decades of adolescent Witchers read those books so you think you’re getting an express ticket to the inside of Geralt’s head but actually that’s like, several generations of wank fodder for a disturbing spectrum of abused kids actually, probably don’t try the [insert really hard/specific/unusual kink here] on Geralt because that was definitely, definitely somebody else’s book when those pages got stuck together and Geralt’s just too sentimental to throw it out. [And of course Lambert knows because he spent a lot of his formative years sneaking into Geralt’s room to browse his porn while the older Witcher wasn’t around, so he can tell you every book that was original to the collection and ok a lot of the wear on the pages is from him but he’s gonna leave that unsaid.]
(Vesemir’s like oh hey that [super-kinky] book was mine, how’d it get in here and everyone immediately Drops The Subject.)