on sex negativity
Jun. 5th, 2017 12:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2rCBBnD:
berlynn-wohl:
weconqueratdawn:
roachpatrol:
boy i’m tired of seeing a constant refrain on ‘progressive’ posts that says like ‘well as long as it isn’t sexualized’, as if anything sexual is obviously bad. cross-dressing’s okay if it isn’t sexualized. queer characters are okay if they aren’t sexualized. dancing is okay if it isn’t sexualized. murder is okay if it isn’t sexualized!
and people keep using the term sexualized as if it’s just the same thing as objectified, as if being sexy makes you less human. because that’s what we’re all taught, right? sluts aren’t people. pervs aren’t people. but it’s bullshit.
sexuality is not an inherently dirty, damaging, wrong, toxic, stupid, or frivolous aspect of human experience and human expression. coercion, violence, and dehumanization are what hurt people, and they hurt people in plenty of nonsexual ways too. treating people like things— seeing them only as objects to gratify you— is wrong no matter what.
sex is a crucial element in a lot of people’s lives. sexuality is a big part of a lot of people’s identities. it’s not something we can ignore or devalue. if we continue to insist that sex is inherently bad and damaging, we’re going to continue seeing sexual people as bad and damaged, and that is antithetical to any truly progressive cause.
Something that came to mind while I read this post was a comment I had recently on one of my fics, which said “wow despite the tags this fic is really wholesome”. The tags referred to were likely the kink-related ones (and there were several on that particular fic) - but also tagged were things like established relationship, moving in together and love. And I think this post goes some way to explain why the person who left that comment wasn’t expecting a kink-based exploration of a loving relationship even though it was there in the tags.
There is a belief that reading and writing about purely sexual scenarios is some kind of guilty pleasure, especially if they are in some way extreme or hardcore. Authors commonly talk about ‘sinning’ and they are only half-joking when describing it as such. It’s also often dismissed as being lesser than other kinds of writing the author might have done - how many times have you seen a writer say ‘oh this is just a little PWP’?
There’s as much room within erotic writing to create something meaningful, interesting and nuanced as there is in any other kind of genre. As OP says “sex is a crucial element in a lot of people’s lives. sexuality is a big part of a lot of people’s identities.” - there is *so much* scope there for a writer to do something good with.
Don’t misunderstand me - I don’t think I’ve cracked it. But I am saying that’s my goal. And thank you to the person who commented for making me realise that YES I WRITE WHOLESOME KINK THAT’S WHAT I DO XD
tl;dr I’ve been thinking too much about the political implications of writing explicit erotica in an increasingly fear-based, censorship-prone society and OP’s post is a good one. Take erotic writing seriously 2k17
I tag many of my fics “Porn Without Plot,” but do you want to know my darkest secret?
The porn IS the plot.
berlynn-wohl:
weconqueratdawn:
roachpatrol:
boy i’m tired of seeing a constant refrain on ‘progressive’ posts that says like ‘well as long as it isn’t sexualized’, as if anything sexual is obviously bad. cross-dressing’s okay if it isn’t sexualized. queer characters are okay if they aren’t sexualized. dancing is okay if it isn’t sexualized. murder is okay if it isn’t sexualized!
and people keep using the term sexualized as if it’s just the same thing as objectified, as if being sexy makes you less human. because that’s what we’re all taught, right? sluts aren’t people. pervs aren’t people. but it’s bullshit.
sexuality is not an inherently dirty, damaging, wrong, toxic, stupid, or frivolous aspect of human experience and human expression. coercion, violence, and dehumanization are what hurt people, and they hurt people in plenty of nonsexual ways too. treating people like things— seeing them only as objects to gratify you— is wrong no matter what.
sex is a crucial element in a lot of people’s lives. sexuality is a big part of a lot of people’s identities. it’s not something we can ignore or devalue. if we continue to insist that sex is inherently bad and damaging, we’re going to continue seeing sexual people as bad and damaged, and that is antithetical to any truly progressive cause.
Something that came to mind while I read this post was a comment I had recently on one of my fics, which said “wow despite the tags this fic is really wholesome”. The tags referred to were likely the kink-related ones (and there were several on that particular fic) - but also tagged were things like established relationship, moving in together and love. And I think this post goes some way to explain why the person who left that comment wasn’t expecting a kink-based exploration of a loving relationship even though it was there in the tags.
There is a belief that reading and writing about purely sexual scenarios is some kind of guilty pleasure, especially if they are in some way extreme or hardcore. Authors commonly talk about ‘sinning’ and they are only half-joking when describing it as such. It’s also often dismissed as being lesser than other kinds of writing the author might have done - how many times have you seen a writer say ‘oh this is just a little PWP’?
There’s as much room within erotic writing to create something meaningful, interesting and nuanced as there is in any other kind of genre. As OP says “sex is a crucial element in a lot of people’s lives. sexuality is a big part of a lot of people’s identities.” - there is *so much* scope there for a writer to do something good with.
Don’t misunderstand me - I don’t think I’ve cracked it. But I am saying that’s my goal. And thank you to the person who commented for making me realise that YES I WRITE WHOLESOME KINK THAT’S WHAT I DO XD
tl;dr I’ve been thinking too much about the political implications of writing explicit erotica in an increasingly fear-based, censorship-prone society and OP’s post is a good one. Take erotic writing seriously 2k17
I tag many of my fics “Porn Without Plot,” but do you want to know my darkest secret?
The porn IS the plot.
