WTF Spaghetti Squash?
Apr. 7th, 2009 06:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7So I bought a spaghetti squash like a month ago.
It seemed like a good idea. A not-so-vegetabley side dish, right? I could serve it to double as starch and vegetable in my mother's tried-and-tested What Makes A Meal formula. (Meat, starch, two veggies, voila!)
I have not found the interest or time to make it. I decided tonight that really, heck with it, I was going to just do it.
This may not have been a good idea; Remi kept me up for hours last night, and I have been sleepy and zoned-out all day. I have no patience or ability to handle anything. But I thought it couldn't be all that hard. I've baked squashes before. I mean, whatever, right? I read the sticker on the thing. It said cut in half, bake at 350 for 45 minutes-- standard, though I usually bake squash for more like an hour. Whatever.
So I did. Cut it in half, chucked it cut-side-down in the oven. Left it for nearly an hour. Made the rest of dinner.
That turned out to be Fail from the get-go-- I had some tilapia fillets. I wanted to roast them, while I had the oven on. I found this recipe.
Just read it for a second.
Roast on high heat for three minutes on each side.
...
ROASTING FAIL. I'm not an expert chef but I know what the hell "roast" means, and that's not it.
I figured whatever, I'll make it anyway. It's not what I had planned on, but I'll try it. Google wasn't coming up with a lot and I was too tired to keep looking.
...
I wound up with a bunch of little seared largely-tasteless tilapia chunks. Also when it says to throw the onion pieces in and roast them for 1-2 minutes it really needs more like 3-5. Onions are OK crunchy but not raw.
Meanwhile I dragged out the squash.
It was fucking raw.
It's supposed to come apart into little strings, right? Right? That's what the pictures look like.
No. Crunchy chunks.
I cut it into big pieces and threw it into a casserole and microwaved it for 7 minutes. (It said to EITHER bake it for an hour OR microwave it for 5-7 minutes.)
After 7 minutes, everyone else had cleaned their plates and my disarticulated fish bits were cold. I said Fuck you, squash, hacked it up with a spoon and a fork (burning myself in the process), and served it.
Crunchy, tasteless, not remotely spaghetti-like, sort of disconcerting texture.
YOU ARE MADE OF FAIL, SPAGHETTI SQUASH. FUCK YOU.
For the record... I've never actually failed at making dinner before. But last night I nearly burned the oven fries I'd cut by hand, and they wound up way too hard. And tonight was just a big bag of pants.
Obviously I am not really in a mental place conducive to cookery.
I really would prefer to be competent, but the spaghetti squash isn't helping.
I never do this, but fully half of the fuckin' thing is going straight into the compost right out of the microwave. Fuuuuuck thaaaat shiiiit.
It seemed like a good idea. A not-so-vegetabley side dish, right? I could serve it to double as starch and vegetable in my mother's tried-and-tested What Makes A Meal formula. (Meat, starch, two veggies, voila!)
I have not found the interest or time to make it. I decided tonight that really, heck with it, I was going to just do it.
This may not have been a good idea; Remi kept me up for hours last night, and I have been sleepy and zoned-out all day. I have no patience or ability to handle anything. But I thought it couldn't be all that hard. I've baked squashes before. I mean, whatever, right? I read the sticker on the thing. It said cut in half, bake at 350 for 45 minutes-- standard, though I usually bake squash for more like an hour. Whatever.
So I did. Cut it in half, chucked it cut-side-down in the oven. Left it for nearly an hour. Made the rest of dinner.
That turned out to be Fail from the get-go-- I had some tilapia fillets. I wanted to roast them, while I had the oven on. I found this recipe.
Just read it for a second.
Roast on high heat for three minutes on each side.
...
ROASTING FAIL. I'm not an expert chef but I know what the hell "roast" means, and that's not it.
I figured whatever, I'll make it anyway. It's not what I had planned on, but I'll try it. Google wasn't coming up with a lot and I was too tired to keep looking.
...
I wound up with a bunch of little seared largely-tasteless tilapia chunks. Also when it says to throw the onion pieces in and roast them for 1-2 minutes it really needs more like 3-5. Onions are OK crunchy but not raw.
Meanwhile I dragged out the squash.
It was fucking raw.
It's supposed to come apart into little strings, right? Right? That's what the pictures look like.
No. Crunchy chunks.
I cut it into big pieces and threw it into a casserole and microwaved it for 7 minutes. (It said to EITHER bake it for an hour OR microwave it for 5-7 minutes.)
After 7 minutes, everyone else had cleaned their plates and my disarticulated fish bits were cold. I said Fuck you, squash, hacked it up with a spoon and a fork (burning myself in the process), and served it.
Crunchy, tasteless, not remotely spaghetti-like, sort of disconcerting texture.
YOU ARE MADE OF FAIL, SPAGHETTI SQUASH. FUCK YOU.
For the record... I've never actually failed at making dinner before. But last night I nearly burned the oven fries I'd cut by hand, and they wound up way too hard. And tonight was just a big bag of pants.
Obviously I am not really in a mental place conducive to cookery.
I really would prefer to be competent, but the spaghetti squash isn't helping.
I never do this, but fully half of the fuckin' thing is going straight into the compost right out of the microwave. Fuuuuuck thaaaat shiiiit.
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no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 10:59 pm (UTC)At least you have something for the compost pile. The plants and bacteria will eat it eventually :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 09:23 am (UTC)Best technique for Spaghetti Squash:
pierce holes throughout whole squash
place on micro-safe dish
Microwave on High for 12 minutes, rotating 3 times (I basically nuke it for 4 min, rotate, wash-rinse-repeat)
let cool for about 10 min
slice in half length-wise and carefully scoop out seeds with fork (if you scrape just under and twist a la spaghetti, works very well)
scrape out squash into bowl or casserole; etc.
Sunday nite I made this:
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1650,151162-229202,00.html
used dried chives instead of green onions and added black olives