dragonlady7 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dragonlady7) wrote2006-11-16 12:20 am
dragonlady7) wrote2006-11-16 12:20 am
ok dumbass
Note to self:
The reason so many sex scenes in so many fanfics and romance novels etc. etc. are so similar [some might say cliched, or boring; I make no value judgements here] is that it is much easier to write a sex scene that adheres to the formula.
Who is stupid?
I am!
Who cannot keep from including sex scenes in her novels?
Me again!
Who absolutely insists on making the scenes all different?
Durr, that's me.
Who has just given her characters an impossible fuck-or-die (literally!) scenario? Who would do that?
Me!
Why? I don't know. (Who the fuck does that? Why am I doing that? But I can't help it! I honestly couldn't think of how else to make the magic work! I'm sorry! Stop looking at me like that, self!)
Who has, on top of that, given herself a borderline-anorgasmic hero?
It seems to be me.
WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS?
I DON'T KNOW.
Pardon my capslock. I honestly, honestly, do not know why these things keep happening to me, but I swear to God I didn't know it would happen until he said, and I swear I am not making this up*, "I don't, sometimes. I mean, it takes me a while... Usually it's a good thing!"
And I said, "WHAT???? Jesus fucking Christ on a popsicle stick."
Fortunately my heroine has a great deal more grace under fire than I do, or the poor hero wouldn't have a chance.
MY BRAIN IS BROKEN I NEED A NEW ONE.
Honestly, who the fuck first takes a perfectly nice adventure novel and "accidentally" makes it erotic, and then goes and makes it difficult? Like the plot wasn't complicated enough, or something?
Jesus.
Lots of wordcount progress but, um, yeah. Lots of words. Not so much with the streamlined plot.
_____________
*Yes I know I made it up, technically speaking, but I mean, I didn't make it up to be funny, I was just writing what it seemed right that he should say, and that's what came out I SWEAR. And then I thought, "Does that happen?" And I remembered a TMI conversation with a sister of mine who shall remain nameless, and those precise words had occurred in the recounting of that episode, and I thought, "Oh shit." I can't always control where real life gets recycled in these things, man. I swear this is not my fault. CURSE YOU SISTER'S-EX-BOYFRIEND WHO SHALL REMAIN ANONYMOUS. CURSE YOU SUBCONSCIOUS THAT HANGS ONTO THESE THINGS AND THROWS THEM AT ME WHEN I AM LEAST EXPECTING THEM.
I am making no statements implied or otherwise about any aspect of my own sex life, past or present.
So anyway. Yeah.
And that's the kind of rant it makes me feel really pretentious to write. I mean, like I am some kind of great artiste and my imagination directs me whither it will, whether I will or I nil, if you know what I mean. I don't mean to imply I'm some kind of sensitive fainting lily who is genuinely shocked at what her subconscious throws at her, or to say that it is some kind of mystical Truth that is being revealed to me, and lo! I am Tortured by the Spirits that arise from my Holy and All-Knowing imagination to Torment me!
No.
Everybody who tells stories with any degree of facility knows that at some point, the stories come to feel self-directed. Any work of the imagination has an aspect of revelation to it-- this is a studied phenomenon, and is very universal. Almost everything someone makes up feels, at some level, like they are merely recounting something that is being revealed to them.
Most of us are unpretentious enough that we don't feel the need to refer to it as if it were actually some outside power giving us the story.
But the fact remains that those of us who spend significant mental effort on these things often find, usually to our chagrin, that the characters wind up being to some degree autonomous, and many of the things they reveal to us about themselves are not exactly what we had planned for them.
All of which is a highly roundabout and pretentious way of pointing out that while I feel a bit pretentious for talking about it in the first place, and Christ this sounds ridiculous, but I am really, really, really displeased by how much of a mind of his own my story's leading male character seems to have.
Little bastard.
The reason so many sex scenes in so many fanfics and romance novels etc. etc. are so similar [some might say cliched, or boring; I make no value judgements here] is that it is much easier to write a sex scene that adheres to the formula.
Who is stupid?
I am!
Who cannot keep from including sex scenes in her novels?
Me again!
Who absolutely insists on making the scenes all different?
Durr, that's me.
Who has just given her characters an impossible fuck-or-die (literally!) scenario? Who would do that?
Me!
Why? I don't know. (Who the fuck does that? Why am I doing that? But I can't help it! I honestly couldn't think of how else to make the magic work! I'm sorry! Stop looking at me like that, self!)
Who has, on top of that, given herself a borderline-anorgasmic hero?
It seems to be me.
WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS?
I DON'T KNOW.
Pardon my capslock. I honestly, honestly, do not know why these things keep happening to me, but I swear to God I didn't know it would happen until he said, and I swear I am not making this up*, "I don't, sometimes. I mean, it takes me a while... Usually it's a good thing!"
And I said, "WHAT???? Jesus fucking Christ on a popsicle stick."
Fortunately my heroine has a great deal more grace under fire than I do, or the poor hero wouldn't have a chance.
MY BRAIN IS BROKEN I NEED A NEW ONE.
Honestly, who the fuck first takes a perfectly nice adventure novel and "accidentally" makes it erotic, and then goes and makes it difficult? Like the plot wasn't complicated enough, or something?
Jesus.
Lots of wordcount progress but, um, yeah. Lots of words. Not so much with the streamlined plot.
_____________
*Yes I know I made it up, technically speaking, but I mean, I didn't make it up to be funny, I was just writing what it seemed right that he should say, and that's what came out I SWEAR. And then I thought, "Does that happen?" And I remembered a TMI conversation with a sister of mine who shall remain nameless, and those precise words had occurred in the recounting of that episode, and I thought, "Oh shit." I can't always control where real life gets recycled in these things, man. I swear this is not my fault. CURSE YOU SISTER'S-EX-BOYFRIEND WHO SHALL REMAIN ANONYMOUS. CURSE YOU SUBCONSCIOUS THAT HANGS ONTO THESE THINGS AND THROWS THEM AT ME WHEN I AM LEAST EXPECTING THEM.
I am making no statements implied or otherwise about any aspect of my own sex life, past or present.
So anyway. Yeah.
And that's the kind of rant it makes me feel really pretentious to write. I mean, like I am some kind of great artiste and my imagination directs me whither it will, whether I will or I nil, if you know what I mean. I don't mean to imply I'm some kind of sensitive fainting lily who is genuinely shocked at what her subconscious throws at her, or to say that it is some kind of mystical Truth that is being revealed to me, and lo! I am Tortured by the Spirits that arise from my Holy and All-Knowing imagination to Torment me!
No.
Everybody who tells stories with any degree of facility knows that at some point, the stories come to feel self-directed. Any work of the imagination has an aspect of revelation to it-- this is a studied phenomenon, and is very universal. Almost everything someone makes up feels, at some level, like they are merely recounting something that is being revealed to them.
Most of us are unpretentious enough that we don't feel the need to refer to it as if it were actually some outside power giving us the story.
But the fact remains that those of us who spend significant mental effort on these things often find, usually to our chagrin, that the characters wind up being to some degree autonomous, and many of the things they reveal to us about themselves are not exactly what we had planned for them.
All of which is a highly roundabout and pretentious way of pointing out that while I feel a bit pretentious for talking about it in the first place, and Christ this sounds ridiculous, but I am really, really, really displeased by how much of a mind of his own my story's leading male character seems to have.
Little bastard.
no subject
no subject
But man, it's making the scene difficult to write.