I got talking with my dude about how it’s silly that people expect that a romantic partner should share all your interests, and he was like, right, you should be your own person, and I admitted that sometimes I’m jealous of my favorite authors who have partners(husbands) who read their work and are their biggest fans, but I get that that’s not mandatory, and he said, well, right, you wouldn’t really appreciate my criticisms, since my tastes are so different from yours, and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but he perked up when I mentioned how much porn I’d been writing lately, and he was like, you know, I probably would have some reasonably meaningful feedback on that, and honestly I dunno, I write a lot of gay stuff, and stuff I don’t think he’d really be all that into, but, well, long story short I sent him a link to the most recent PWP (Yavin IVsome) and I’m now rereading it with a critical eye and kind of thinking like, hm, maybe I shouldn’t have sent him that, so, uh, anyway. It’s a bit female-gazey, now that I reread it, and maybe I’m too flowery in the descriptions, and gosh.
… Dude and I have been together for a decade and a half, and the last thing of mine I had him read, he wanted to know why everybody had dumb names. He is Super Not Into fantasy or sci-fi stuff at all, and doesn’t read much at all but when he does, it’s contemporary stuff. He loved Nick Hornby etc. He doesn’t do drama or epic shit or any of the stuff I do.
This is almost as bad as when I told my sister my AO3 handle and linked her to a fic. It’s been like six months, she didn’t read it, I think I’m all good, but the nervousness about it…
y’all don’t understand, I’m not out to people in RL, I don’t know anyone in person who’s basically ever read my fanfic. Some of y’all talk about, like, your mom reading your shit, and liking it, and giving you advice, and I can’t even imagine what that would be like.
I almost hope he doesn’t read it because then I can stop worrying what he won’t like about it. Ugh I’m the worst at dealing with this.